


Contagious

by Enula



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enula/pseuds/Enula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Liv eats the brains of Blaine's ex-girlfriend from years ago, it becomes very obvious that love stems from the brain, not the heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First story I'm posting on AO3! I've been writing fanfiction for 15 years, but I've had writers block for the past year, so hoping to ease back into it.

**Contagious**

**I.**

_Once upon a time, I was the girl who hated seeing dead bodies._

_It was my duty to save people, to present them with a miracle, to save their family years of heartache. Watching a patient being wheeled out under a blank white sheet not only killed a part of me, but it embedded a deep anxiety in me. I wasn’t a perfect person; I wasn’t a perfect doctor, and there were times when I hated myself for being a perfectionist. There was always something I could have done better, something that would have saved the now lifeless body that still managed to accuse me of failing at my job._

_But now? Now I survived, quite literally, on seeing dead bodies. Murdered dead bodies, to be exact. My job was now to figure out who killed who and why. My new job has given me more spare time than I ever had when I was a doctor, but with spare time comes a big. Stupid. Void._

_I pushed Major so far away, I’m not sure there’s ever any hope in repairing what we were. Every time I thought there was hope for us, something new would shove its ugly head between us. And now that he’s working for Max Rager…I’m not even sure if he’s the same Major anymore._

_My mom and Evan are still pissed at me. I don’t blame them. From the outside, they saw that I had a chance to save Evan’s life and I chose to let him die. I would be mad at me, too._

_I scared Peyton off. She’s finally back in town. Ravi gives me some updates when I ask, but it’s quite clear that Peyton tells him not to talk about her to me. I thought she would surprise me on my birthday, but that was just false hope. No one showed up. Well...except Gilda. Funny, she’s the person I know least about, yet she’s the one I feel closest to right now._

_Except when—you know, I eat the brains of some dead person and_ become _them._

\----

“Got a cold one for ya, hot off the press!”

Ravi’s booming voice made Liv jump. She was in the backroom watching the news, though only half paying attention. She looked for chances to catch Peyton, hoping to hear a word or two that she would say to the public but would be secretly directed at Liv. But so far, Peyton was nothing but strictly professional, as per usual.

Liv glanced around the bend, just barely catching the EMT guys leaving the morgue. Ravi took control of the gurney, wheeling the covered body under a bright light and beside his metal table full of medical tools.

“Let me guess,” she started, standing up and shoving her hands deep into the pockets of her white lab coat, “money, sex, and lies.”

“Is there ever any other motive for murder?” Ravi asked sarcastically, snapping on his surgical gloves.

Liv pulled two gloves out of the box, “Just promise you’ll let me know if the victim was a sexaholic before I do anything I’ll regret.”

“Can’t promise anything; _you’ll_ be the one to find that out all on your own,” he grabbed the top of the sheet, ready to reveal the body, when he shot her a look of disgust, “Just—try not to bring anyone _here_ if that happens—,” he frowned, “unsanitary and all that.”

“I’ll try my best to keep it in my pants at work,” Liv shot back before taking it upon herself to pull the sheet down. She forgot to suppress a gasp of surprise when she saw the female victim’s face.

“Audrey Allen. Thirty. Suffered multiple facial fractures; broken nasal bone, broken jaw, severe swelling and bruising around the eyes and mouth,” Ravi rambled off what her saw physically. His finger moved along the body’s throat, “Seems as though she got quite a punch to the throat. Wind pipe is completely collapsed.”

“She was found in her home like this?” Liv asked, wanting to look away from the face that could hardly even be called that anymore, yet feeling compelled to stare.

“Uh-uh. Bushes. What bushes? I have not a clue, you’ll have to either talk to your detective friend or eat dinner if you want more info.”

Liv sighed. She had a feeling that this one might turn into a painful experience. The woman, Audrey Allen, was clearly abused and beaten to death.

…Liv was thinking brain stew. It was definitely a night for some comfort food.

\----

An hour later, Liv was sitting down at the lunch table with a bowl full of beef broth, jalapenos, hot sauce, and brains. Ravi sat across from her with a peanut butter sandwich.

“So,” Liv started, her spoon full, “what are the two things you can tell me about Peyton today?”

Ravi picked at the crust and it was obvious to Liv how uncomfortable these conversations always made him, “She ate a cup of vanilla yogurt the other day. Greek, if I remember correctly.”

Liv had to shove a spoonful of brains in her mouth to keep from snapping. She didn’t understand how her two best friends from two different parts of her life were able to become best friends and remove her from their club. Not two months ago, she had the largest group of friends she ever had. Was it something she said, or was it just her personality?

“I asked for two things,” she finally said when she trusted her voice to be even.

He waved his hand as if to dismiss it, but knew he couldn’t get off the hook that easily, so settled with, “She bought new fuzzy pink slippers.”

Liv looked taken aback, _“Pink?”_

“Yes, pink,” he replied shortly, taking a bite of his sandwich but continuing to talk with his mouth full, “Let’s talk about what _you’ve_ been doing. See any good movies? Meet any new potential zombie lovers? You know, the usual?”

Liv ate another big bite, “Your sarcasm is sometimes hard to swallow.”

“Says the girl who swallows brains.”

“Says the guy I convinced my best friend to go out with and then kicking me to the curb,” Liv replied shortly.

Ravi stared at her for a long moment before leaning forward, “Wait a minute, are we being serious here? ‘Cause I had on my joking face, you can’t just switch like that on me.”

Liv pulled her lips tight, “Welcome to my world.” She wiped off her mouth with a napkin and stood up, ready to clean out her bowl. She had been so on edge that she finished her whole meal in under six bites and didn’t even enjoy it (not that enjoyed meals these days, anyway).

“Wait, Liv, get back here and talk to me,” Ravi said almost pathetically. He hated it when Liv got upset with him and though there was hardly anything he could do, he wanted to at least try to get her to lighten up.

Liv stopped dead in her tracks at his words.

_“Get back here and talk to me!” A large man with angry eyes, a dark beard, and a wife beater yelled in a burly, dangerous voice._

_Audrey blinked rapidly and shook her head, “No, please, just let me leave. I promise I’ll never bother you again just—.”_

_“You think I’m gonna just let you leave!” he charged at Audrey with no warning, shoving her to the ground and standing over her._

_Covering her face with her arms, Audrey tried to defend herself from the man that was swinging his arm back._

_“NO!”_

_His fist came down on her face._

“Liv!”

Liv’s body flinched hard as she came back to reality, her breath coming in short, quick gasps.

“Where’d you go, what’d you see?” Ravi was asking, his hands gripping her upper arms in fear she was going to collapse.

Blinking back her tears, Liv tried to focus on Ravi’s concerned face to put her back in the moment, “I know what the guy looks like that did this to her.”

\------

“Do you have any leads on who murdered Audrey Allen?” Liv asked Clive as she was still walking to his desk.

“And good evening to you, too, Miss Moore,” Clive greeted with feigned professionality. He handed Liv a folder when she reached him, “And no, we have no leads yet. When we found her in the bushes outside of the apartments—you know those huge, rundown apartments on Third?—she had ammonia and rubbing alcohol poured all over her. No fingerprints could be detected. We have no idea who threw her there or why.”

Liv flipped through the small file. She didn’t see anything she didn’t know already, “I think it was her husband…maybe boyfriend. Possibly ex, I think she was trying to leave him.”

Clive stood up quickly though tried to keep his calm demeanor, “You saw him?”

She nodded, “In a vision. I don’t know his name. I remember what he looks like if you wanna go fetch your sketch artist,” Liv suddenly looked alarmed, “I mean—please? If you want. I don’t want to cause you any trouble, I just thought maybe it was a good idea that—I know you’re in charge, you do what you know is best.”

Clive stared at her strangely, quickly snatching the file from her. He jumped when Liv flinched and covered her face, “What is wrong with you?”

She peeked at him through her spread fingers before realizing what she was doing. She quickly dropped her hands and gripped onto the strap of her purse, “Sorry. I’m just a bit…tired tonight.”

“Well, maybe after you give your description of the guy, you should go home and get some rest.”

Liv nodded, “Right.” She closed her eyes briefly before turning away from him, anxiety rushing through her at the small movement. To her left, a lead detective marched over to another detective’s desk and slammed three large folders down on the floor, “What the hell is this?!”

She held her breath as another vision attacked her.

_“What the hell is this shit!?” The large man bellowed as he held a floppy journal in his right hand. He waved it rapidly, Audrey squinting her eyes though trying hard not to turn away from him._

_“I-it’s just some poetry I write, it’s nothing t—.”_

_“Goddamn right it’s nothing! And who the hell is—,” the man flipped angrily through the journal, though it didn’t take him long to find a page he wanted. He turned the book harshly toward her, but Audrey recoiled away from it, “Who the hell is this B—.”_

Liv was blown from her vision when someone collided into her. She saw that it was a handcuffed man trying to fight off the detective that was leading him to the interrogation room.

She couldn’t quite recall what was so strange about her first Audrey vision, but now that she had her second, she realized that it was almost like watching a film from the sixties when Technicolor was first introduced. The colors seemed grainy and distorted. Only different shades of red—or maybe violet—and some sort of teal existed.

Liv turned back toward Clive, “I think Audrey was colorblind.”

Clive nodded, “I suppose that information could come in handy. I’ll let you know if anything comes up.”

\---

When Liv finally made it home, it was past nine and Gilda wasn’t home. It was well enough, she didn’t feel like talking about her day at the moment.

_After all, nothing new. Major and Peyton still aren’t talking to me, Ravi’s barely talking, and I’m having colorblind visions._

Liv wasn’t an eye doctor, but she remembered studying a little bit about colorblindness in a college class. There was more than one type and very rarely did anyone see in just black and white. And Liv found she didn’t mind seeing through the eyes of Audrey (well, except only seeing that ugly brute of a man). It was like living in an old movie. Like _Breakfast at Tiffany’s._ Or _Mary Poppins. …._ Or the cover of _Psycho._

There were shades of red that she wasn’t quite used to seeing, and because they were so unusual, they were beautiful.

She grabbed her laptop and headed to her bedroom. She changed into her pajamas before settling down on the covers to do some research. As it turned out, Audrey had _tritanopia,_

“People with reduced blue sensitivity have difficulty identifying differences between blue and yellow, violet and red and blue and green. To these people the world appears as generally red, pink, black, white, gray and turquoise,” Liv read aloud, “Hm…red and turquoise seem like _chic_ colors to see.”

When she got tired of reading what little information there seemed to be on Audrey’s rare form of colorblindness, Liv thought she’d try her hand at researching Audrey Allen online. She went to Facebook first. She found one Audrey Allen, but she was some sort of model that looked nothing like the Audrey she knew. _Knew._

She went to Google for help. She found all the model Audrey’s Twitter, Instagram, Playboy photos…then finally she came across a Myspace page that seemed different than all the other pages. Upon opening the page, the profile picture showed a brunette woman standing between two people who looked like they could have been her mother and father. It was difficult to tell from the one photo, but Audrey seemed happy. Then again, the last update was in November 2002.

Liv smiled at Audrey’s pictures and her snarky little comments she left on some.

“Never leave a cat to do a squirrel’s job,” with a picture of a grey cat staring at a squirrel with a mouse in its mouth.

“Jumping off the edge of the world!” with a picture of Audrey jumping from large concrete letters that spelled _WORLD._

Audrey seemed like such a carefree girl in her late teens. What happened to her that she ended up with such an asshole? And why did she stay? Allen was her maiden name, so it didn’t appear that she was married to the guy.

_Unless his last name happened to be Allen, too….which would be_ super w _eird…._

But then she came across a picture that made her heart stop. Even more than an undead girl’s heart could already stop.

“Love of my life.” Was the simple caption. Audrey was laughing, her eyes closed in a glorious moment as the _love of her life_ placed his forehead against her cheek and laughed with her.

……………

_“Blaine?”_

Liv’s body tensed as a memory was jogged.

_“What color is this?” Audrey asked Blaine, a teenager of about seventeen or eighteen. She held up a flower that appeared to be salmon in color._

_Blaine smiled and took the flower from her before leaning forward and sticking it behind her ear. The petals could still be seen from Audrey’s peripheral vision._

_“It’s yellow.”_

_“Yellow’s my favorite color,” Audrey responded, leaning in toward Blaine, “Because I can see it like no one else can.”_

_Blaine stared, mesmerized, before smirking in a way that was signature, “You ever consider writing poetry?”_

_Audrey shook her head._

_“Well, there’s nothing I fear more than unrealized potential. Go for it,” his words felt like diamonds and his eyes shone like devotion._

_“Okay.”_

_“Promise?”_

_Audrey giggled and held up a camera, “Can I get a picture first?”_

Liv breathed heavily as the vision came to an end. There was a brief warmth that spread through her that was hard to come by these days, but it was so fleeting it just made her wonder if she ate too many jalapenos with her brains. She had no idea.

But one thing she did know, she had the sudden inexplicable urge to see Blaine.


	2. Chapter 2

**Contagious**

**II.**

_When I first met Major, it was like my very own fairytale was being written. If my life was a musical, I’m sure we would have sang a duet together the first time our eyes met. I knew I had to marry him one day—to think of anyone else having him is about as insane as….well, a zombie apocalypse._

_The butterflies never really went away; even now, whenever I’m around him, it brings_ some _part of me to life. And when you’re a living dead girl, you take what you can get. Even if it is just regret._

_Then I met Lowell and things started to make sense again. Or—no sense, maybe. Did we really find love in the time of Z? Not many people can say they got a second chance at love after death. But I often wonder what would have happened had Ravi found the antidote before Lowell was gone forever. I swore that as soon as Ravi was able to turn me back into a human again, I would run back to Major and give a reason to why I made the biggest mistake of my life._ Major _was the reason I wanted to come back to life._

_So—where would that have left Lowell?_

_Maybe I only loved whoever would love me at the time I needed it._

_\------_

Liv sat up in bed, running her hands back through her pale hair. It was just like when she first became a zombie: the insomnia was real and there was nothing she could do to get herself to pass out. She recalled the first night she was actually able to get sleep as a zombie, and how it was just plagued with nightmares of Blaine. But now—she definitely wasn’t having nightmares about him.

Far from it.

Every thought was centered around how he looked at her (at _Audrey)_ in the last vision Liv had. She never knew Blaine was capable of looking like that; she had assumed that he had been a narcissistic, homicidal bastard his whole life and that no one would be _good enough_ for him. She didn’t realize that there was probably a Blaine that existed outside of Utopium and selling brains.

_We’re all different than when we were teenagers,_ she tried reminding herself. But she couldn’t help but obsess over what could have happened to make Blaine turn to the life of drugs.

Unspoken words started floating through her mind. The urge to write hit her hard and fast in the gut and she quickly scrambled to find a notepad and a pen in her nightstand drawer. Her eyes were wide and crazed as she pressed the tip of the blue pen to the blank paper. The words were in her mind— _just write them down!_

But she was frozen. Her mind was moving, but it wasn’t speaking to her hand. But it was—Right. There.

_Write write write write write write WRITE!_

In a burst of sudden frustration, she threw the paper and pen across the room. She brought her knees up to her chest, hid her face, and bawled. Too many strong emotions hit her at once and she didn’t know how to handle it ( _if_ there even was a way to handle it, which she didn’t think there was).

_I love you, I love you, I love you, I love—_

_Manic! OBSESSIVE!_

Liv peeked her eyes out from behind her arms and caught sight of the dark hallway. A lump formed in her throat as another vision presented itself.

_Audrey was breathing heavily in a dark room—it was a tight space, most likely a closet._

_“Where you hiding, you bitch?” the man yelled from somewhere outside the dark space. Audrey swallowed a terrified moan and took out her cell phone; the brightness from the device made her squint, but she scrolled hurriedly through her contacts. Her hands shook and she went past the number she was looking for and had to scroll back up._

**_DeBeers Co._ **

_She pressed it, but before she could hit the call button, the closet door swung open hard and fast, the large man nothing but a blur as he launched at her._

Liv slid herself back against the headboard. Her chest rose and fell heavily as she tried to catch her breath. She never cared for her visions—not _really_ anyway. Most of the visions she got were usually pretty horrific. But they came in handy to help the murdered victims get their vengeance by putting their killers behind bars, so it was something Liv quickly got used to.

But Audrey’s visions were unlike any she’d experienced before. There seemed to be something about Audrey that made her _feel_ more. Liv only ate her brains seven hours ago, but already it felt like it had been years.

And she hated to admit it but— _God help me—_ she was longing for another vision with Blaine in it. The fear Audrey felt for the mysterious large man was very real, but the affection she felt for Blaine was just as real. _No._ That one was _much_ more real.

And it seemed like, even after all those years, Audrey still had a DeBeers’ phone number in her contacts. Was it her way of keeping Blaine in her phone without Large Man knowing? Or was it a family company that she assumed would still have the same number after all these years?

Liv grabbed her phone and looked up _DeBeers._

“Diamonds and engagement rings. Well how ‘bout that…” Liv thought out loud while continuing to scroll to see if anything else popped up. She wished she thought to memorize the number that was in Audrey’s phone.

She eventually threw the phone down and groaned exhaustedly. Her eyes began roaming the room. Then she looked down at her left hand, specifically her ring finger. _Engagement rings…_

_I wonder if Blaine’s awake…_

She instantly slapped herself, “ _No!_ You stop that, Liv! Remember, these aren’t _really_ your thoughts.”

But she _had_ to think of him if she hoped to learn anything more about Audrey to figure out who Large Man might be. She wondered if Blaine might have an idea—she had no idea how long it’d been since Audrey talked to him, so Blaine might end up being a dead end (no pun intended), but she figured it was worth a try. She would visit him tomorrow at Shady Plots Funerary.

_Oh Blaine…_

First Meat Cute, and now Shady Plots. Liv smirked before catching herself and slapping her cheek again.

“It’s not funny.”

\------

The following morning, Liv found herself standing outside of the funeral home wondering if she made the wrong choice or not.

_Maybe I should have talked this over with someone first. Ravi. What would Ravi have said?_

_“This is the guy you wanted to kill! The guy that killed Lowell and Major, REMEMBER?”_

Hm…well, imaginary Ravi definitely had a point, but Liv reminded herself that she was here to try to help Audrey. _Nothing more._

Sucking in a deep breath, Liv pushed her hair behind her ears and took long, confident strides to the entrance. She pulled open the heavy doors and stepped inside, the quietness of the place catching her off guard. She looked around the spotless front room, suddenly remembering her first and last visit here. Blaine had offered her a piece of chocolate, then ate one in front of her (possibly impregnating it).

Liv unconsciously moved her mouth in a chewing motion, then hissed through her teeth as the (newly) tantalizing memory flashed through her mind.

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in,” Blaine walked out from behind dark curtains that separated the front room to the stairs. He was wearing one of his black suits, contrasting drastically with his pale face and hair. He signaled to her before clapping his hands together, “My old zombie nemesis. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

His sarcastic smirk triggered an instant vision.

_Blaine opened the front door to what looked to be a mansion, a look of surprise flashing across his face, “You said you were gonna call me when you were on your way home, when’d you get in?”_

_“Just now,” Audrey replied quickly before grabbing his face and bringing it down to hers, kissing him hard and fast, “I missed you,” she mumbled between their lips._

_He chuckled and stepped back, pulling her with him so they could get inside the house. Audrey looked up into his eyes—a beautiful teal color._

_“How was studying abroad? Learn anything you couldn’t have learned her?” he asked teasingly, showing that sarcastic smirk of his._

_“I learned that I can’t live without you,” she responded with laughter in her voice._

_“Is that right?”_

_“You know I can’t write poetry otherwise.”_

Liv blinked a good million times as the words that demanded they be heard started swimming around in her mind again.

“You just vision out on me?” Blaine asked, going around his desk and sitting in his chair, “You should be careful about doing that in front of your enemies. It leaves you vulnerable, you know.”

She quickly grabbed one of his business cards that were placed professionally at the corner of his desk and turned it over. She then snatched one of his many pens and began scribbling like a madwoman, her lips moving ever so slightly as she read the words to herself.

Blaine sat forward and laced his fingers together as he watched her, “Have you gone mute? If you’re looking for voice boxes, you can check down the street at that music store, _Careless Whispers_.”

Liv shot him a glare but still continued to write until she finally had an eight line verse. She then shoved it hastily in his purse.

She huffed and stood up straight, looking at Blaine with a blank face. Audrey’s feelings for him were out of control; as soon as Liv spotted Blaine, everything seemed to come into focus that couldn’t last night.

“There’s been a recent murder and I think you know—I mean, _I know_ you know—knew—the victim. So I thought maybe you could help,” Liv spit out, wincing every time she stumbled over a word. _I probably look so pathetic._

He stared up at her with wide, interested eyes; he slowly stood from his chair and Liv swore she felt her heart drop to her stomach. He walked around his desk until he was standing in front of her. Up close, Liv could see how blue his eyes were, yet she still remembered how teal they looked through Audrey’s eyes.

“Let me tell you something,” he said quickly, sucking in a deep breath and staring seriously at her, “I can’t think of a single person in my life right now that I care about enough to want to help solve their murder case.”

“That’s—that’s horrible,” Liv found herself saying as her eyes watered. Part of her was sad because Blaine had no one close to him, but most of her was depressed over the thought that she was included—she also was no one he cared about.

He shrugged, “Well, you know, all the greats were loners.” He widened his eyes for effect, his mouth curving into a small grin.

“Sorry for bothering you,” she murmured before turning to leave, the sting behind her eyes and the top of her nose was almost too much to handle.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Blaine reached out a hand and grabbed her forearm to stop her from leaving.

Liv prepared herself for a harsh vision with Large Man to start because they seemed to be caused by actions such as this. But instead, there was nothing but calmness and when she turned back around, she saw him as the man Audrey saw.

“Just because I don’t wanna help doesn’t mean you didn’t get me interested into who this dead person might be,” he admitted with no shame.

Liv switched her weight from foot to foot, the thought of telling Blaine that she was dead suddenly feeling very wrong. She looked around his office, noticing some flower samples to the far right. She couldn’t help but notice they were yellow.

She nodded in the direction of the flowers, “Those are nice. What are they—faded pink roses?”

Blaine scrunched his eyebrows in confusion, but turned to see what she was looking at, “Pink? All those over there are yellow.”

Liv saw the realization dawn in his eyes as soon as he said it. Her eyes softened, and she felt the urge to pull him in and hold him, but held herself back. That was not the way things worked. He turned to her, but his eyes only met hers for half a second.

“Well…this is certainly…interesting…” he cleared his throat and leaned back against his desk. Liv couldn’t help but notice how white his knuckles turned as he gripped the edge, “But—uh…I’m sorry to say that…I haven’t spoken to her in… _years.”_

_I’m here right now,_ speak _to me!_

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Liv said instead because she had no idea what else to say that was normal, “I-if you know anything…about a man she might have been with,” Liv rummaged through her purse to get a copy of the sketch that was done last night, “I think he’s the one that beat her to death, so—.”

Blaine held up a hand. Liv shut her mouth and held back on pulling out the sketch. Blaine pursed his lips and shook his head, “I told you, I don’t know anything.”

His voice told her that he didn’t care, but his eyes told a whole different story.

“Blaine, if you—.”

“I think you should go,” he nodded to confirm his words, though he didn’t move himself from his desk.

She didn’t want to leave. She saw how much this news shocked him and wanted to talk to him about it. Audrey told her to stay, but she told herself that it wasn’t her place to stay. So, with heavy limbs, Liv turned herself around and walked toward the exit. But it felt so much like a final goodbye between the two of them that it almost made her stop. _Almost._

_This is not a memory. This is happening now._

She covered her mouth with her hand to choke back a sob. _But it feels like a heartrending déjà vu…_

She pushed the doors open and walked out into the gloomy Seattle afternoon.

_This is definitely not going to be easy…_


	3. Drinking with the Enemy

**Contagious**

**III.**

_I never really know quite what to expect any more when it comes to my emotions. Before becoming a zombie, I was only two things: driven and boring. I was never good at separating my social life with my school and work life, so it all kind of just blended together. On the off chance I talked to someone besides Peyton and Major, it was_ only _about my job._

_I don’t even know what Major saw in me. Besides both of us being in professions where we helped people, we didn’t have much in common. He was an extrovert and liked being social, whereas I was an introvert and preferred staying home. I wouldn’t go so far as to say we were_ opposites _though. We somehow found a good medium between us._

_Come to think of it, I don’t know how Peyton and I clicked either. She was always the drop dead gorgeous girl that could be friends with anyone and get any guy she chose. Still, I think she took to my work ethic and it helped her stay focused. Maybe I was just a good influence for her._

_Being a zombie definitely made me more sociable. When the brains of a person wore off, I would lose the talent they had, but some of their personality would always somehow stay with me. Holly reminds me that there’s always fun in life to be had. Being a pregnant woman reminded me of how much I would have loved having a child of my own someday. Consuming that frat boy’s brains made me more outgoing. They all had their ups and down._

_Audrey’s brains make me emotional. And when I’m emotional, I drink._

_\----_

Liv sat at the far end of a half empty bar. She counted the five empty glasses in front of her, plus the one currently filled to the brim. She was mixing her drinks (not always the best idea), testing each one out to see which one could best burn the taste onto her tongue. So far, Sierra Silver Tequila and Devil Springs Vodka were winning the race.

She cautiously looked around the bar, relieved that no one was looking at her. She would hate to accidentally make eye contact with someone and make them think they should come over to _keep her company._

But everyone else seemed to have someone. She watched as some guys put their arms around their girls’ shoulders, while girls would lean forward and place their hands on the guys’ knees to let them know they were interested. It was a give and take situation and Liv felt both repulsed and jealous of it all.

Turning back to her drink, she tossed it down her throat with only a slight wince. _Bacardi 151 does the trick, too._

She looked down the bar and saw the bartender talking to a couple girls, “Hey! Can I get another drink down here?”

The bartender rolled his eyes but held up a finger to the girls as he made his way to Liv, “Are you sure you don’t wanna take a break? I could get you some water.”

“Does it _look_ like I need a break?” Liv asked in a snappy tone, a sure sign that the alcohol was having some sort of take on her. She sighed, “Sorry. But I’m fine. Could I get another double-shot of that tequila, please?”

The bartender frowned but got out the bottle anyway.

“Make that two.”

Liv didn’t even have to look to see who took the stool right next to her. His voice sent a shiver down her spine and, quite unexpectedly, a vision hit her full force.

_Audrey moaned as she stared up at the ceiling, her eyes fluttering often and quickly. She looked down past her breasts that were only covered by a laced bra (the kind that’s only worn when you know something_ fun _is going to happen) to Blaine who was nipping his way up her inner thigh._

_“Why do you always have to tease?” Audrey asked breathlessly as she ran a hand back through his brown hair._

_“’Cause it gets you this way,” he murmured before sliding up her body and kissing her on the mouth. Audrey kept her eyes open, admiring him up close as he loved on her. But then her body jerked and she moaned loudly against his lips._

The noise caused Liv to jump out of the vision.

Blaine looked over at her and noticed that her pupils were dilated and she seemed short of breath, “Must have been one hell of a vision.”

Liv blinked, trying to erase the heat bubbling in her stomach. The alcohol was not helping any. She finally took him in—which also did not help any. He looked completely different than when she saw him that morning. His hair was no longer combed to perfection, but spiked and messy. Gone was his black suit, and now he just wore faded blue jeans and a black-tee with a red windbreaker.

“What are you doing here? …and _how_ did you know I was here?” Liv asked, taking one of the glasses the bartender put down in front of them.

“I have my ways,” Blaine answered mysteriously. He clinked his glass against hers even though she didn’t offer to do so. He shot back the drink and Liv, not knowing what else to do, did the same.

“But for the more important question—I came to ask for that sketch you were going to show me this morning.”

“You think you might know who did it?” Liv asked hopefully, turning only her upper body toward him.

“Well, I can’t know for sure until I see him, right? So. Hand it over.”

She shook her head, “I…don’t have it on me right now. I left it at home.”

She saw his eyes rove over to her, his mouth dropped open only slightly before he asked: “I guess I know who I’m going home with tonight.”

Liv blushed—she could actually feel _heat_ rise to her cheeks and she truly hoped he didn’t catch any redness to her face. But she had the sudden urge to be like those girls she was looking at earlier. She wanted to lean in toward him, place her hand on his knee—

“Another drink, please!” She called to the bartender again.

“For me, as well,” Blaine said, “And put all of her drinks under my tab. Thanks, brother,” he took out a card and tossed it across the bar.

Liv swirled a finger around her latest empty glass, “You don’t have to buy my drinks, you know.”

“And you didn’t have to come to me for help, but you did,” he paused only for a moment before adding, “Smart move, by the way.”

“What? Asking you if you knew her killer?”

He nodded.

“Well, I keep having visions about _you_ and her, so who else would I go to?”

“Fair enough,” he picked up his drink the bartender put down and once again clinked it against her unwilling glass, “Care to share any of these visions?”

“Um.” Liv answered all too shortly before taking a drink. Before, she was trying to get drunk, but with Blaine here now, she wasn’t so sure that was a good idea, “I’ve seen her telling you her favorite color was yellow because she viewed it differently than everyone else. You told her she should be a poet. She rushed back from her trip abroad because she missed you. …Are you sure she was with _you_ and not like—a twin brother you have?”

_“Ha!_ Very clever,” he shot back his drink, “No, believe it or not, Liv, you’re seeing the teenage me.”

Liv couldn’t help but down her drink as well. She picked up the napkin it had been sitting on and noticed a faded water circle right in the middle. The urge to write hit her again. And with Blaine sitting beside her, it was impossible to fight against. She dug out a pen from her purse and began writing out verses.

“So…if you cared about her as much as I’m picking up, why’d you two break up?” Liv asked, trying to keep him talking as she wrote.

“You mean you don’t know?” Blaine asked sarcastically, “I dunno, you might have a vision soon and I don’t want to _spoil_ the surprise.”

She shot him a glare, “This isn’t a movie, you know. I only get bits and pieces. It would be nice to fill in some of the gaps.”

Blaine became silent, but Liv hardly noticed as she wrote out everything that seemed to be coming from something other than herself.

_‘For what is my existence without my agony—’_

“Haven’t you ever felt like you just weren’t good enough for the person you were with?” Blaine suddenly asked. Liv stopped writing and looked over at him. The smirk on his face made it seem like he didn’t just utter the words he did.

“You _killed_ two of the guys that come to mind for me,” Liv said bitterly—and then she held her breath. She did _not_ expect herself to say that, nor did she want to. It was something she never wanted to discuss with Blaine.

Blaine looked confused, “ _Two?_ How come I can only think of Major? But damn, was he a pain in the ass. He had that coming, mind you.”

Liv gripped the pen hard in her hand. How the _hell_ did Blaine remain so calm when talking about a murder?

“But who was the second?” When Liv didn’t answer, Blaine turned his stool toward her, “C’mon, you can’t just leave me hangin’. …it wasn’t Matt, was it? Aaron? …Josh!”

“You’re just saying names,” Liv mumbled, and felt a bit uneasy that Blaine thought he killed so many people that a random name could be the correct one, “How do you think Audrey would have felt about your lifestyle now?”

“Oh, she would have hated me. For sure,” he said without missing a beat.

Liv slapped down the pen on the counter then turned toward him sharply, “And that doesn’t bother you in the least? That your high school sweetheart, the one that’s supposed to always see you with a golden halo, would _hate_ you because of what you’ve become?”

“Life isn’t some rom-com,” Blaine bounced back at her, “I haven’t thought about her in— _forever!_ But we broke up so she could have a chance with someone good for her. Someone that didn’t have daddy issues, or megalomania, or drug problems. _Some_ people deserve better than all that.”

She could only stare at him. From the sound of it, _he_ broke up with her to give her a better chance at life. He didn’t want her falling down the path he was. And she had so many questions. If he loved her, why didn’t he try to change for her? But the again—he seemed to change after he had been dating her. So why wouldn’t he stay the same for her?

“Audrey’s actually her middle name,” Blaine revealed when Liv didn’t say anything, “Diana was her first name. But everyone insisted on calling her Di for some reason, and she hated that. –Ironic, isn’t it, _Liv?”_

Liv narrowed her eyes. He probably didn’t tell her that piece of info to help in the case, but it could certainly help for looking up more info on her. She could be known as Audrey socially, but on records, she must have had to put Diana.

And Blaine was watching her as she processed this information. Though he wasn’t admitting it straight out, he must have been _so_ in love with her to let her go when he found himself heading down a bad path he couldn’t resist. And even now, he’s taking the time out of his schedule to help find her killer…

He placed his hands over her eyes.

“No one’s looked at me like that since Audrey. It’s hard seeing it again, especially when I know it’s _from_ her.”

Liv felt her heart shatter. She backed away from his hand and turned to look down at all her empty glasses, “Well—thanks for not taking advantage of my… _situation,”_ she said awkwardly, “Mind if I get one my drink, Mr. Tab Man?”

“Please, drink away,” he said, waving the bartender back over, “I get at _least_ ten-thousand per brain—and that’s only when it’s from some low life. I can spare you some change.”

She shook her head, then blurted out, “Lowell. You killed Lowell.”

“Lowell? ….Lowell…” Blaine murmured the name to himself a few more times before clicking his fingers, “The British guy, right? Wait…you were _dating_ him? He tried to kill me first, you know.”

“I know. I was there,” she said cynically, not even trusting herself to glance over at Blaine for a second.

“You were? Funny—I don’t remember that.”

She sighed. She could easily tell him that she planned on killing him that night but chickened out, but she opted for keeping her mouth closed.

“Well—if it means anything at all to you, I apologize. It was nothing personal, honestly. I was bringing him his daily meal brain per usual, he tried to stab him, so I shot him. Self-defense.”

“He was only trying to do what I couldn’t,” Liv spit out angrily, but instantly regretted it. The last thing Blaine needed to know was that she wanted ( _needed_ ) him dead.

“Ah, well, better luck next time,” was all he said as though he was told daily that someone tried to kill him.

“And yet you’re still waiting to go to my home with me? Alone? Where I could easily eat you?”

“Mm, don’t get me too excited, Miss Moore,” Blaine said as he placed his glass to his lips. “Oh wait,” he held out the glass, seeing if Liv would clink their glasses together this time. He waited ten seconds before he finally did it himself again, “One of these times you’ll initiate it.”

Liv put her face in her hand, “It’s— _astonishing_ how unbelievable you are.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he drank the alcohol then slammed the glass on the counter, “So finish up. Let’s go get that sketch.”

Liv peaked out from between her spread fingers, “I’m not sure I really want you to know where I live.”

Blaine chuckled, “Where you _Liv.”_ He looked over to her but when he saw she wasn’t laughing, he shrugged, “Some people just don’t have a sense of humor.” He cleared his throat and signaled to the bartender, “I’d like to pay the tab now.”

Liv stared at her last drink of the evening, scared to touch it knowing Blaine was paying for it (even though he offered to pay for all of her drinks). She picked up her napkin full of words, “How about I just stop by Shady Plots tomorrow and drop off the sketch?”

He signed the receipt with a good tip, “Liv, if I _really_ wanted to know where you live, I would have found out already. Or I could easily find out now. Have one of my guys break in. Wreck the place up. _Then_ take the sketch. Ooorrr…” He turned his stool to face her with a smug grin.

She shook her head, “You’re horrible.”

He flashed her a satisfied smirk, leaning forward with a glint in his eyes, “But you love it, right? _Especially_ right now.”

She groaned and placed her hand over his face, “Whatever. Let’s just go get the sketch so this night can be over.”

“You live far?”

“No. Like two blocks.”

“Perfect. We’ll walk,” he stood from his seat and stuck his hands deep in his pockets.

Liv stood from hers as well, shooting one last suspicious look at him, “Another reminder: I will kill you if I have to.”

“Seems like you already tried and missed your chance.”


	4. The Hero and The Villain

**Contagious**

**IV.**

_I survived my first day in love with Blaine—now it was time to survive the night._

_Truthfully, my evening didn’t go as I planned. I just wanted to get drunk and pass out into a dreamless stupor. When Blaine showed up, I assumed he would try to take control of me and my situation. I don’t know how I would have reacted, but my gut (or my Audrey brains) warned me that if Blaine told me to jump, I would jump._

_Her feelings for him were so strong, I don’t know how she lived so long without him. I almost wanted to compare it to my feelings for Major. Except there was one huge difference. I’m not living without him. I’m not_ alive. _I still see him. Watching him with another girl was torture, but that’s all behind me now._

_And at that moment, I was having a hard time distinguishing my feelings for Major and Audrey’s feelings for Blaine._

_\---_

“No one’s following us right?” Liv had to ask as she and Blaine began to walk down the darkened sidewalk. The streetlights were few and far between in this part of town, and Liv was considering cutting through the park to make the journey better lit (though not really faster).

“I dunno, you’re the zombie. You tell me,” Blaine responded in a condescending tone that earned him a glare.

“Seriously, I don’t want—.”

Liv suddenly heard footsteps running toward them and she braced herself, but it turned out to be a female jogger listening to her iPod. Though the woman was paying no mind to the duo, Liv couldn’t help but become entranced as she was promptly thrown into a vision.

_“Hey!” A woman ran up to Blaine and Audrey. She was out of breath, her hair a mess, and she kept scratching the skin on her forearm, “You’re Blaine, right?”_

_It was nighttime and Audrey grabbed Blaine’s shoulder in fright. The woman was clearly on drugs; her eyes looked sunken and dark, and some sort of rash was forming on her face. Audrey looked at Blaine to see if he knew her._

_“Who’s asking?” Blaine asked with a straight face._

_“Listen, they said you have_ it. _Said you’re selling for a good price. I got the money, just give—.”_

_“Blaine, what’s she talking about?” Audrey asked in a voice above a whisper._

_“Nothing,” he answered way too quickly, “Come on,” he tried to pull Audrey around the woman._

_“I got the money!” The woman yelled as she reached into her shirt and pulled out a wad of cash, “Now I know you have it, so just—,” she began scratching furiously at her temple._

_“Not—_ now,” _Blaine mumbled through clenched teeth. He continued to pull Audrey who was trying to stay close to him._

_“Give it to me!” she slurred while reaching out for them._

“Liv!” Blaine snapped his fingers in front of her eyes until he saw them finally come back into focus, “There you are. Thought you were stuck in that one.”

Liv glared at him, “How _dare_ you start selling drugs! What are you trying to _achieve_?!”

“I—.”

She pushed him harder than she expected to, causing him to stumble back, “Why would you do this to _us_?!”

“Ah shit, here we go…”

“Don’t give me _that!”_ Liv shouted, stepping closer to him only to shove him again, “How long has this been going on? _How_ did this even happen? I’ve been nothing but good to—is this what you’ve been doing at night? Why it takes you forever to return my calls?”

Blaine held up his hands in surrender, “Listen, can you just drop the act now? It’s—.”

_“I gave all of myself to you!”_ She yelled, sudden and unexpected tears burning her eyes.

He stayed silent. He dropped his hands, hanging his head so he was staring at the sidewalk. Then he peaked up at her with a raised eyebrow, “You finished pretending to be her now?”

Liv felt an annihilation of emotions. She felt _so much—_ she despised herself for still loving him—and then she felt nothing, and though she had been furious with him, she was reaching for that feeling again, grasping for _something_ that suddenly seemed out of reach.

“Where did—,” she breathed; _why can’t I get a handle of my own feelings?_ “Where did you go?”

“Uh…” Blaine shifted his eyes from side to side. He then narrowed his eyebrows and stared with feigned concern, “Are you okay? ‘Cause it _really_ seems like…I mean, I don’t even have words for it, honestly.”

Liv closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead heatedly, “Sorry, I really don’t know where that came from. You’re just—such a jerk.”

“Ah, well, I’m sorry that you had to eat the brains of my ex-girlfriend to figure that out,” he stuck his hands back in his jacket pockets and cocked his head, “Now can we just go get this sketch? Even though I’m beginning to believe this is more trouble than it’s worth.”

Liv lowered her hands and shook her head, “Okay, for the record, I knew you were a jerk before being on Audrey’s brains. And also, _screw you_ for thinking that her death isn’t worth finding out about.”

“I didn’t say that,” Blaine denied but was satisfied when they finally began walking again. They both stayed silent as they contemplated everything Liv just said to him. “You ever see that movie, _Ghost_?”

“With Patrick Swayze?” Liv asked oddly, “Who hasn’t?”

“I was just thinking of that scene where Patrick’s spirit went into Woopie. Do you think stuff like that can actually happen? Because—I’m not gonna lie, you sounded e _xactly_ like Audrey when you were yelling at me. Like,” he waved his hand over his face, “mannerisms and everything.”

She shrugged almost as if the whole thing were no big deal, “I dunno, I suppose I’d have to eat the brains of an exorcist or ghost hunter to answer that.”

Blaine’s eyes widened in amusement. Liv caught this and couldn’t help but think how attractive he looked when he was really interested in something.

“That needs to be your next meal, seriously. Can you imagine? A zombie exorcist casting out evil demon spirits? _HA!”_

“Did anyone ever tell you that you have a warped sense of humor?” She pointed across the street to the park, “We can cut across the trail.”

Blaine followed her, “So tell me. What’s _real_ zombie Liv like? Do you usually give a guy the benefit of the doubt or—no, no I guess you don’t.”

Liv glanced over at him as they entered the trail. They both had their hands in their coat pockets, no doubt keeping themselves in their own personal bubbles. She suddenly imagined making her bubble just big enough to fit his bubble inside of hers. Separate; but still together.

_‘I gotta write that down later…”_

“What? How can you say that when you don’t even know—.”

“You didn’t give me a chance when I found you,” he countered, “I came to you asking if you could spare a brother some morgue brains, then you stood me up.”

“I didn’t stand you up…” she mumbled, remembering the day she was to meet him in the alleyway.

“Pretty sure you did. Then you agreed that it was every zombie for himself.”

“ _Actually_ ,” she snapped, wanting once again to shove him but holding herself back, “I _did_ come to the alley that day with a _fresh_ brain, mind you, but I _saw_ you making some sort of sleazy deal with those two guys in that car. You told me those days were over for you, but you lied.”

“Oh, you think so?” Blaine pulled his shoulders back and turned his upper body toward her as they continued to walk, “Funny, because that’s not at all what happened. I think you just needed a super villain so you could be the super hero.”

She scoffed, “Are you trying to insinuate that I _made_ you a villain?”

“Just as I made you a hero.”

Liv pursed her lips and looked around the darkened park. She had _no_ idea how she could feel so conflicted about him; with him, there was never one solid emotion but a plethora of everything at once. It was— _exhilarating._ Lately, all of her friends and family had been treating her like she was better off dead (at least, that was the feeling she got from it).

“So if you weren’t dealing—enlighten me, what _were_ you doing?”

“It’s too late,” he said with over-the-top seriousness, “We can’t go back now.”

She rolled her eyes but held back a grin. She stepped closer to him—then caught herself. Her Audrey brain instinct was kicking in again and she began to perceive this is a flirtatious banter, and she wanted to nudge him playfully. But they were discussing their opposing sides—not something to bond over ( _or is it?)._

“My apartment is right over here,” Liv nodded to her right. They made their way to her complex and Liv started hopping up the stairs first. She heard Blaine right behind her and it made her stop and turn around.

He was three steps below her. He looked up at her, unmoved when he spotted her blank expression, “Please don’t say _ladies first_ to me.”

“No, I…” Liv reached into her purse, searching for the sound of jangling keys, “Maybe I should just run up and grab the sketch and bring it down to you.”

Blaine opened his mouth to object, thought better of it, and snapped his teeth together. He nodded and leaned against the stair railing, “I get it.”

Liv could only continue staring at him, surprised that he obliged so easily. In fact, it was a little _too_ simple and she realized that she _wanted_ him to argue with her about it. It made her upset with herself, so with a bitter, _“Whatever,”_ she turned on her heels and unlocked the main door.

She hit her knuckles against the side of her head, trying to knock some sense into her head. _‘It’s best if he stays outside. Why would I invite him up to my apartment anyway? Wouldn’t it be weird? Here’s the sketch. Okay. Now what? I got alcohol._

_‘Bad. Idea.’_

Liv made it to her apartment number, noticing instantly that the door was unlocked. She grew stiff. _‘This better not be some kind of trick—stop thinking like that, Gilda’s probably home.’_

She turned the doorknob and slowly cracked the door open, prepared to be attacked if it came to that. And who she saw sitting at her kitchen table did not relax her any.

“…Major?”

“Hey, Liv.” He had his hands folded together on the tabletop, his eyes almost hidden in the unlit room.

“What are you doing here? And why are you sitting in the dark?” She flipped on the light switch, noticing how Major’s eyes squinted and letting her know he had been in the dark for awhile.

He sighed and looked at his hands. Then he turned to the sink. The fridge. The microwave. He was avoiding her gaze. But she could clearly see how bloodshot his eyes were. They looked sunken—not zombie-like per se, but like he hadn’t been sleeping well and not taking care of himself.

“I had to see you,” he admitted as he looked back down at the table, “I had to make sure—you were all right.”

“All right?” she asked incredulously, “The last time we spoke, you said you didn’t want to see me anymore and now you’re asking if I’m all right?”

“I was—I was confused and…” he placed his hands over his face.

Liv stayed by the door waiting for him to continue. Prior to this, she went over everything she wanted to say to Major when she saw him again. Every possible scenario was thought of. But now that he was here in front of her, her mind was blank. Was he asking for her forgiveness?

“Listen…I’ll be right back. I have to get something for a friend…” she trailed off on the last word, not sure if that was the right word to describe Blaine.

Major suddenly stood up, “No, I need to tell you this _now.”_

Liv’s lips parted and she tried to breathe as a vision entered her soul.

_“Tell me_ now _why you keep writing this shit when I_ specifically _told you not to!” Large Man yelled in Audrey’s face, holding a handful of loose papers in his left hand._

_Audrey shook her head, “You don’t_ own _me! I love writing poetry, it’s the only thing—.”_

_“You don’t get to decide what you do! You live under_ my _roof! What do you contribute?”_

_“If you’d let me get a job—.”_

_“Learn to use makeup first,” he growled cruelly as he ripped the papers in half, then again, then again…until they were nothing but tiny scraps. Audrey watched as they floated lifelessly to the floor._

“—and I just thought it was better that way, you know?”

Liv blinked and focused on Major who was standing a few feet away from her now. She had no idea what he was talking about and, at that moment, it was hard to care. She felt the flight reflex being triggered inside of her but felt paralyzed by a fear she couldn’t pinpoint.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked with pure confusion.

Liv straightened her back and tried her best to make her expression neutral, “Like what?”

“Like I’m about you kill you?—Olivia, you know I would never—.”

“It’s not that. Sorry, I just…I need to get this one thing and…” a harsh sting burned her nose and she could literally feel tears coming to the front of her eyes. _‘Why now?! Why did he have to come to me now?!’_

She went to her bedroom and took out the folded up sketch from her nightstand drawer. She didn’t have to turn around to know that Major was standing in the doorway, blocking her from leaving.

“Look…I know I don’t deserve it, but I really need you to talk to me.” His voice sounded broken and defeated. She gripped onto the sketch, crinkling it at the edges as she tried to maintain control of the situation.

“Peyton’s been asking about you, too,” he confessed.

She turned around quickly, anger flashing in her eyes, “So why isn’t _she_ here?! Is she so scared of me that she sent my ex-ex-zombie to talk for her?!”

Major held up his hands, “No, that’s not what this is about. We all—we _miss_ you, and I think—I need help, I started—.”

“I dunno why, but this is sounding like an intervention!” Liv felt her zombie blood boil and she tried her best to repress it. She didn’t even understand why she was so outraged at him, at Peyton, at her mom, at Evan—maybe because they turned their backs on her about something they didn’t comprehend.

And just like when she was still a human and couldn’t properly release her anger, tears sprang to her eyes. She knew if she attempted any more words at that moment, her voice would crack. With bravery she didn’t know she possessed at that moment, she walked around him and out her apartment door.

She bounded down the steps almost blindly because of her watery tears. She slammed open the main doors to see Blaine right where she left him.

“Here,” she stated with a heavy voice, her hands shaking as she held out the sketch.

Blaine narrowed his eyes at her changed demeanor from a few minutes ago. He took the sketch from her, unfolding the paper to take a look at the guy who killed Audrey. He nodded, “Well Miss Moore, you don’t have to worry about this case anymore. I’ll get it taken care of.”

Any other time, she would have asked him what he meant. The guy needed to rot in jail, but she had a feeling Blaine had something very different in mind. But she didn’t have it in her. She turned to head back in, but was stopped when Blaine grabbed her upper arm.

“Hey…are you okay?” He asked with true concern, “Did you have another vision?”

Liv sucked in a deep breath, sniffing through her nose. Being away from Major, and feeling Blaine’s cold hand through her coat, was calming her down, “Yeah, kinda. …Major’s upstairs…”

“Ah,” Blaine let go of her arm and stuck the sketch in a hidden pocket inside his jacket, “Well I’ll let you get back to it then.”

Liv clenched her fists as she went back to the doors. _‘Don’t call to him.’_ She told her Audrey brain. _‘You need to talk to Major.’_ She reminded her own brain.

She pulled the door only to find it locked. She patted her side where she always kept her purse. It wasn’t there. _‘Shit, I must have put it down…’_ She looked over at all the doorbells, knowing it would be easy to just buzz her apartment and have Major let her back in. But maybe she didn’t want let back in. Did she really want to fall back under Major’s spell just because he came crawling back to her?

_‘The answer should be yes.’_

She turned around and her eyes met Blaine’s who was still standing at the bottom of the steps.


	5. Running in Circles

**Contagious**

**V.**

_I don’t know what I did to Life to piss it off—but it must have been something_ really _bad. Every time anything ever goes right for me, there’s something waiting right around the corner to screw it all up._

_Major showing up at my apartment should have been a dream come true. He finally knows the truth about me, he wants to move past that and talk to me again. Possibly…do something more? Could Major actually love me enough to want to be with me despite my white hair and non-existent pulse?_

_I should be thrilled. I should be rushing back up to my apartment and jumping into his arms. I’d tell him that I should have never let him go and he’d apologize for not recognizing the signs and then we’d kiss and all will be well again._

_But some part of me knew none of that would happen, and so I avoided the whole situation._

_\----_

Liv slumped down two stairs before taking a seat. She blew her hair out of her face frustratingly.

“I always knew you were the passive aggressive type,” Blaine commented as he sat on the bottom step and leaned back against the railing.

She placed her elbows on her knees and her chin in her palms, “How do you figure that?” She watched as he lazily rolled his head against the failing to look up at her. There was about ten steps between the two of them, but it felt more like fifty to her.

“Nothing says _leave me the hell alone, but don’t go anywhere!_ like leaving a guy in your apartment then running away,” Blaine commented with every ounce of seriousness he had.

“I didn’t run away,” Liv countered, “I just—accidentally locked myself out while getting something for _you.”_

“And you’re not buzzing because…?”

She sighed heavily, “That’s none of your business.”

He shrugged, “Hey, I’m offering free therapy sessions here, if you don’t wanna take advantage of that…”

Wincing up her face mockingly, she responded coolly, “Pretty sure _I’m_ not the one who needs therapy.”

_“I_ happen to enjoy my life; I’m also a fully functional and contributing citizen to society.”

Liv rolled her eyes, “You’re full of it, Blaine.”

“Hey,” he raised his arms out to his sides, “I’m not the one sitting outside my apartment because I don’t want to face my ex.”

“No, you’re just the one sitting _with_ the person sitting outside my apartment,” Liv corrected. Once she said it aloud, she really started to comprehend that Blaine had decided to stay with her instead of simply leaving, “And why _are_ you still here anyway? I gave you what you wanted.”

She didn’t expect it, but her own words prompted a vision.

_Blaine pushed a man that was about the same build, the man stumbling back a couple feet._

_“I gave you what you wanted,” Blaine said loudly while keeping Audrey behind him._

_Audrey was breathing heavily, her eyes constantly averting to Blaine’s arm that she was gripping onto._

_“Yeah, well now I want the girl!” The other man yelled, stepping toward them again. Audrey screamed as the man reached for her before Blaine pushed him away again._

_“Let’s not turn this into a bloody drug deal,” Blaine warned as he whipped out a butterfly knife. He skillfully swung it out until the blade was pointing dangerously at the man. The man held up his hands and backed off instantly._

_“Hey, man, I don’t have insurance so—.”_

_“Then get out of here!”_

_Audrey watched the man turn and run. She turned back to Blaine, but gasped when he suddenly turned toward her with scared rage in his eyes, “What the hell are you doing out here?!”_

Liv slammed her eyes shut as her own life came back into focus.

“Listen,” Blaine began, causing her to open her eyes and look down the stairs at him, “I know you don’t really need to breathe when you’re a zombie and all, but—it’s kinda weird how you hold your breath every time you have a vision. Is that voluntary? I don’t remember not breathing when I had visions…”

She shook her head and hid her face in her arms, “It feels like I’m suffocating.”

Blaine stayed silent for a long moment before Liv heard him lowly singing lyrics to Chevelle’s “Send the Pain Below.” _“Much like suffocating—much like…”_ He trailed off when he noticed Liv was peeking over her arms at him, “What?”

His voice sent shivers down her spine and she wished she could ask him to continue. But that would be weird…but once again, he made her want to write as a thousand words swam around her brain that she currently shared with Audrey. She reached for her purse again out of instinct, groaning when she realized it still wasn’t there. Liv happened to spot two white sidewalk chalks at the bottom of the steps that some kids left behind.

She picked herself up and hopped to the bottom. She got down on her knees, not even noticing how cold the pavement was against her legs that were only covered by dark tights. She picked up the chalk and began writing as fast as the thick writing utensil would allow.

Blaine tried to look over her shoulder without moving from his spot, “Anyone ever tell you how random you are?”

“I get that a lot…” Liv mumbled without much thought.

Blaine stayed still as he listened to the taps and soft scrapings of the chalk against the cement. Finally, curiosity got the best of him and he slid to the middle of the step, right behind her, to see what she was writing.

_‘My heart can deem what my mind can’t suffer—My soul is all, but less, of a constrictor.”_

“Wooow…you really do write just like her…” Blaine commented.

Liv wasn’t expecting to hear him so close and stiffened. Her hand wanted to continue moving, but she was worried what words she might spill out. She drew a big circle, retracing the line when it was complete, “So tell me…would you rather live a life where you just keep running in circles…?” She redrew the circle three more times before finally lifting up the chalk, then pressing it roughly to the cement as she began drawing a straight line, “Or a life where you keep going down the same path—going, going, going—only to discover,” she stopped drawing, “a dead end?”

She stared down at her _art_ for a long moment before glancing over her shoulder at Blaine. He was slowly nodding to himself, but when he caught her looking at him, his eyes widened, “Oh, that wasn’t hypothetical?”

He ignored her glare as kneeled next to her, “Circle. You only have to go in the circle a few times to realize you’re _in_ the circle, so you just,” he erased part of the circle with his finger, “escape.”

Liv stared at her broken circle and Blaine’s hand that was beside it. The back of her mind reminded her that she was looking at the hand that murdered homeless teenagers, killed Lowell, dealt drugs…

But her frontal lobe was letting her know that that hand also held his ex-girlfriend once and made her happy, played with her hair and bought her gifts…

_“You got this for me?” Audrey asked as she held up a leather bound journal with her name engraved on the front._

_“You kept losing all your cheap notebooks…thought this would help.”_

Liv realized that she wasn’t just having visions anymore—she was having _memories._ She didn’t need to go back to a time to see what Audrey saw…there were some things she just never forgot and was always in her mind.

_And that leather journal felt wonderful in my fingers…_

She could smell his cologne. It was something he always wore since becoming human again, and she wished she knew what it was called. She wanted to spray it all over her journal. She wanted the feeling of being suddenly inspired every time she opened the journal because it would always remind her of him.

_That was one of the best gifts he’d ever given me…_

_I want to thank him._

She leaned towards him, her eyes closed with trust and her body light with affection.

“Whoa there, Porcelain Aphrodite,” Blaine’s voice snapped her from her memories, her thoughts, her feelings, “I understand that I’m irresistible to you right now, but c’mon. Major Heartthrob to right upstairs waiting for you.”

Liv’s eyes widened when she realized what she was about to do. She quickly threw the chalk down and stood up, wiping the dust off on her jacket, “Ugh, I must seriously be out of my mind.”

“Out of _your_ mind?” Blaine stood up as well, “Technically.” He reached into his inner coat pocket and felt for the sketch, “I need to head back. Start my search on this guy.”

Liv felt her heart drop to her stomach. If Blaine was leaving, it really did mean that she had to go talk to Major. She looked up at her apartment only briefly before turning back to him, “You’ll let me know if you find something out, right?”

“On one condition,” he said ominously. He took out his cell and waved it, “I’m gonna need your digits.”

She crossed her arms and looked at him with uncertainty.

He rolled his eyes, “I promise I won’t send pictures of my meals, or many selfies, or anything you might consider _spam.”_

She hurriedly spewed her number to him before she could think better of it.

“Got it,” he said, despite all her numbers sounding run together, “I’ll send you a text later so you know how to get in touch with me…you know, if you have any visions you need to talk about.”

“I’ll remember that,” she said in monotone, though she inwardly wanted to thank him for even saying it.

He bowed slightly and pressed his palms together as he began to back away, “Namaste.”

Liv scrunched her face up, “What?”

Blaine shrugged before turning away from her and waving his hand above his head, “I dunno, I never spoke yoga.”

Despite herself, she caught a huge smile taking over her face and actually had to cover her mouth to not laugh. _‘Calm down, Audrey. He’s not all that.’_

She bounded back up the steps and pressed the buzzer after only half a breath, “Hey, it’s m—.” But before she could finish her sentence, the front door buzzed letting her know Major let her in. This let her know that he had probably gotten tired of waiting for her—which just made her wonder why he didn’t come outside to talk to her.

_‘Must be really serious,’_ she thought as she headed back to her apartment. Now that she was more calm and _knew_ Major was going to be sitting at her kitchen table (or somewhere close to it), she wasn’t going to be caught off guard and could actually talk to him.

Yet as soon as she walked into her apartment, she found him standing by the door with a hardened face.

“Sorry that took so—.”

“What the hell was _that,_ Liv?”

“…What was—.”

“Were you just playing chalk with… _Blaine?!”_

Liv’s eyes widened for only a moment before anger boiled inside her, “You were _spying_ on me?”

“No!” Major shook his head and walked over to the kitchen window, “I mean, I wasn’t purposely—I looked out the window and _saw_ you, I just—what the _hell,_ Olivia? Are you…?” He trailed off and his horrified face met hers.

“What? _No! No, no, NO!_ I am not _with_ him! God…” She scoffed and went to the cupboard to get a drink.

Major only stared at her for a long moment, “Need I remind you that he—.”

“Killed you! Yes, I remember, Major—all too well,” she shot back the rum, “It’s not even like that. He’s helping me find someone.”

“And you _trust_ him?”

She poured another drink without even offering him one, “Normally, I wouldn’t…but this case is different. So just…let it go, okay? Tell me why you’re here.”

After shooting back the second drink, the putting her glass in the sink, she realized Major wasn’t responding. She looked at him to see him staring at her, though his face was unreadable. But there was a small hint of sadness in his eyes that made her release all her tension and feel awful over snapping at him.

“Did you…want to sit down on the couch? We can talk there and—.”

He shook his head, “No. I don’t—I don’t think either of us are in the right mind to talk now.”

Panic set in when she thought he was going to leave. As scared as she was about talking to him, now that she had the courage and the atmosphere to do it, she didn’t want him to leave. That would just put them back at square one.

She leaned against the sink, “Major…I really am sorry. About— _everything._ Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I just wanted you to stay safe and find a life with someone…not so complicated. And I’m sorry for turning you into a zombie when you didn’t want that—not that I blame you, zombie life isn’t exactly luxurious.”

She hoped he would at least crack a smile, but he didn’t offer one at all.

Narrowing her eyes, she pushed herself away from the sink, “You know what? _You_ came _here_ to apologize to _me._ Isn’t that what you said? So why do I feel like I’m failing at something I wasn’t supposed to be a part of?”

His mouth dropped open only slightly before he set it in a hard line, “’Wasn’t supposed to be a part of?’ You were always the one telling me a relationship involved _both_ people making an effort. You're one half of this, Liv! You tried to apologize to me before but I wasn’t ready to hear it; now I am, and I’m here to offer my own apology as well, but I…I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on with you.”

“I never heard someone try to back out of an apology with _that_ excuse before,” Liv replied hotly and left the kitchen. She walked into the living room and sat heavily on the couch. She was now wishing he’d just leave.

“It’s not an excuse,” Major countered as he followed her. He stood behind the couch to look down at her, “I’m trying to _fix_ things between us, but if you’re trying to start a relationship with—.”

“I already told you, that’s not what that is!” She didn’t even want Major saying Blaine’s name. She pictured him as Beetlejuice…he’d show up if his name was said enough times.

“ _Okay,_ fine, I believe you. I’m sorry.” Those two words made Liv look up at him and the sudden softness in his eyes made her relax. He cautiously walked around the couch to sit beside her, “I’m sorry for doubting you just now. I’m also sorry for not seeing what you were going through…I guess…after I realized that zombies were running around, I didn’t want to believe you were one of them.”

“I’m not one of _them,”_ she specified, turning herself to face him, “I don’t kill people. There’s a reason I started my job at the morgue.”

“See. It all makes sense now.”

They both laughed lightly. And before Liv knew what was happening, Major leaned in and pressed his lips against hers, his mouth finding hers as easily as ever. But Liv didn’t get to bask in this reunion. Her eyes widened in terror as a vision flashed before her.

_“Strip for me,” ordered Large Man who was very obviously drunk. He stumbled toward Audrey and forced her to kiss him, her eyes slammed shut through the whole ordeal. But he pushed her away as forcefully as he pulled her in, “I won’t repeat myself!”_

_“I’m not doing that!” Audrey yelled back, “You’re drunk, just go to sleep.”_

_“You think you get to order me around?!” He grabbed her arm and pulled roughly, the sound of ripping fabric filling the air, “I’ll show ya how it’s done.”_

_“STOP!” She screamed, but it fell on deaf ears as only rips, tears, and sobs could be heard._

Liv gasped and pushed Major away from her, _“Stop!”_

“What? _What?”_ Major asked with heightened concern. He noticed she was holding herself and shaking. “Liv, talk to me, what—.”

She held up her hand for him to keep his hands to himself. She stood up and got some distance between the two of them as she attempted to calm herself. She really wished she could just get rid of these brains. They were causing her too much stress. If it wasn’t Large Man lunging at her, it was Blaine loving or pushing her away, and she didn’t know which was worse anymore.

She sucked in a deep breath before turning toward Major, “It’s just…the brains I’m on right now.” He gave her a weird look and she realized she never talked to him about it, “When I eat brains, I…” she searched for the right words to make it not sound so creepy (but it just _was),_ “Take on that persons personality. I see things they saw. And these brains I’m on right now…she had a bit of a rough life.”

“Oh…I get it. I think,” he said as he tried to act like she said something as normally disturbing as ‘ _milk gives me gas.’_ He cleared his throat and stood up, “So…uh, these brains…how long do they usually last?”

Liv shrugged, “’Bout a week, week-and-a-half.”

Major nodded, “Okay. So…I can try kissing you again in about ten days?”

They both laughed shortly again, both looking down shyly for a brief moment before connecting eyes.

“I think it’ll be safe to try again then.”

“Great…but in the meantime…we can still talk? Hang out? Watch movies?”

Liv grinned and nodded, “I think those are all safe.”

He sighed with relief, “Good, because I have so much stuff to tell you…”

\----

Three hours later, Major was passed out on the couch. They had just watched two comedies in a row (they had to keep the mood light) and Major fell asleep in the middle of the second. Liv continued to sit with him, watching him, reviewing everything he told her that night.

He had gotten mixed up with drugs (Utopium, of all things) and was just then trying to get off of them and get some help. She was glad he was smart enough to make that decision before he got so far down that road that there was no turning back. It reminded her of her chalk drawings. Blaine was right. It was better to choose the circle, because you always have the option to break out. But to go down a long road only to reach a dead end—that would require either giving up, or traveling back down that long road in reverse, which could be worse.

She got up and went to her bedroom to get him a blanket. As soon as she spotted her bed, she remembered that was where she dropped her purse. She took out her phone and saw that she had four new text messages from an unknown number.

_‘Hello’_ **Sent at 11:04pm**

_‘It’s me.’_ **Sent at 11:06pm**

_‘I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet.’_ **Sent at 11:16pm**

_‘Kidding, it’s only been hours.’_ **Sent at 11:19pm**

Liv couldn’t help herself. She laughed as she sat down on her bed and typed back to him (despite it being three in the morning).

_‘For someone so evil, you can be so lame.’_ **Sent at 3:03am**

She placed her phone on her nightstand and went to her closet to get a spare blanket. She went out and placed it over Major and shut off the TV. She looked down at him in the dark, still having a hard time believing he actually came back to her. And if it wasn’t for her Audrey brains, they probably would have spent half the night making out. And if she wasn’t a zombie, they probably would have had sex (then again, if she wasn’t a zombie, they never would have broken up in the first place and would have been married by now).

Liv frowned at the thought and made her way back into her bedroom. She was surprised to see the green light blinking on her phone, indicating she had a text. She opened it up with too much enthusiasm.

_‘Villains have radios too’_ **Sent at 3:07pm**

She grinned and typed back:

_‘I assume they also have beds. Go to sleep’_ **Sent at 3:09pm**

_‘Don’t ass-ume. Did you make up with your boy toy? Have any visions of me while doing the dirty?’_ **Sent at 3:10pm**

_‘Um no. I have work in a few hours, I’m going to sleep.’_ **Sent at 3:11pm**

_‘C’est la Liv’_ **Sent at 3:11pm**

Liv was still smiling unconsciously as she saved this new number under Blaine’s name. 


	6. Leather Bound

**Contagious**

**VI.**

_Good thing it isn’t exactly essential for zombie’s to sleep. I tried falling asleep after my texts with Blaine, but all I could think about was his cologne, Audrey’s leather journal, and writing more poetry. So I wrote. Like…_ a lot. _The world seemed to disappear and time was only something imaginary. Until I noticed that it was seven in the morning and I had to get ready for work._

_I thought about everything Major told me. About how insane he felt when he couldn’t explain what was happening to all the missing teenagers. And how putting himself in a mental hospital only seemed to make it worse. His thoughts when he first discovered I was a zombie…_

_“All I could think about—was that I should die because I had been living in a world where you were dead. And I was pissed because you didn’t tell me you died.”_

_Okay, so not exactly the most normal conversation ever. But still, it broke through some barriers between us that needed to come down._

_\----_

“You ate the brains of Blaine’s ex-girlfriend?”

This was the first thing out of Ravi’s mouth when Liv ended up telling him everything that happened the day before.

“I definitely wouldn’t be hanging out with him otherwise,” she answered dryly.

“I mean, _I know_ you mean well—but if I were you, this is the e _xact_ time I _wouldn’t_ hang out with him,” he shrugged his shoulders, “But you know. Seeing bedroom-eyes-Blaine would make him seem less scary I suppose.”

Liv slowly turned to him with an open mouth, instantly seeing the large smirk on his face, “Seriously? That’s the first place your mind went?”

“I wonder if he sings during orgasms…”

“Ravi!”

_“It’s the final countdoowwwnn!”_ Ravi sang passionately as he played air guitar, and though Liv wanted to look horrified, she couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head.

As Ravi continued making guitar noises, Clive walked down the few steps into the morgue, warily eyeing Ravi who didn’t even seem to notice him.

“Don’t mind him,” Liv waved off Ravi before sticking her hands in her lab pockets and meeting Clive.

“I usually try not to,” Clive said quickly before holding up a file, “We found out where our latest victim lived—Diane Audrey Allen. She lived a few apartments over from the ones we found her body beside, so we’re about to go investigate. Figured we could use your super powers.”

Liv nodded quickly, “Yeah, definitely. This is great,” she turned to Ravi just in time to see him throw his arm in the air as his mind solo ended, “’ey! We’re about to head to Audrey’s apartment. You coming?”

“And miss the chance of possibly seeing—,” he trailed off when Liv shot him her _tread carefully_ look, “…seeing what happened? Never. Let me just grab my stuff.”

\-----

Liv was shocked to see that the apartments weren’t the worst she’d ever seen. She could never completely tell in her visions if Audrey’s place was well taken care of or not, but it looked like an average income could afford a room.

“Her name was on the lease,” the apartment manager said as he stood outside the yellow tape that prevented anyone not authorized from entering apartment 214, “but the only time I ever saw her was when she signed the papers. Never saw her get the mail, leave for work, get groceries,—nothin’.”

“Who was the co-signer?” Clive asked.

“Ben Smith.”

“When was the last time you seen him?” Liv asked this time as she glanced around the apartment, wondering when she would see something that would trigger a vision.

“Not for a few weeks. Rent was due ten days ago so I slipped a couple notices under the door, but…” The manager, Clive, and Liv looked down at the entryway where the notices lay seemingly untouched.

“Gather up all the paperwork that went with the contract,” Clive told the manager, “I have a feeling that Ben Smith might not even be his real name, though…”

When the manager left, Liv joined Ravi over by a bookcase to see if he found anything of interest.

“Looks like a lot of classics,” Ravi remarked.

_Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina, A Tale of Two Cities, Gone with the Wind, The Scarlet Letter…_

Liv put on her gloves and grabbed _Frankenstein_ and quickly flipped through it, “There’s a lot of pages ripped out of this book. Looks like some pages have handwritten scribbles on them…” she turned to page 101 and saw the first sentence circled in red.

_“Nothing is more painful to the human mind, than, after the feelings have been worked up by a quick succession of events, the dead calmness of inaction and uncertainty which follows, and deprives the soul both of hope and fear.”_

At the top of the page was cursive writing: _“Nothing is more painful than being unsure of whether I miss you, or the thought of being in love with you.”_

“It looks like Audrey may have used some of these books to jot down some stuff,” Liv noted, flipping through the book a few more seconds before realizing she’d have to take a deeper look at it later. She glanced over at Ravi, saw that he wasn’t looking, so slipped _Frankenstein_ inside her bag.

She noticed a smeared stain on the side of the bookshelf and leaned in closer to see what it could be. It didn’t take her long to realize it was dried blood and she felt her breath weaken when a vision hit her.

_“Why the hell do you even need all these books!?” Large Man (Ben?) yelled in front of her, indicating to the bookshelf that Audrey was standing in front of._

_“I love literature…you know that,” Audrey answered in a calm tone that even sounded forced to her._

_“You calling me stupid?” he grabbed a hold of her shoulders and shook her._

_“No! That’s—.”_

_He reached around her and began ripping pages out of random books he grabbed. Audrey grabbed his arm in an attempt to stop him, but he tossed her off and her head collided with the sharp edge of the bookshelf._

“Hey,” Clive was suddenly in front of her, “You see something?”

Liv covered her forehead with her palm, somehow feeling sweaty with a sharp migraine, “Um…well he was obviously abusing her…he threw her against this edge. You see the blood?”

Clive nodded, but Liv moved away from the books, feeling uncomfortable around the furniture now. She traveled to the hallway and, to her left, she spotted the closet Audrey was hiding in from her vision. Liv opened the door slowly, knowing full well how easily a vision could attack her.

The closet was full of unpacked boxes. The boxes were wet for some reason, so the smell of wet cardboard filled her nostrils and made her cover her mouth and nose. She randomly chose a box and flipped open the top. There was a lot of women’s clothing. She went to the next box which housed dinner plates wrapped in old newspaper.

When she opened the third one, the first thing she spotted, amid random other things such as a teakettle, coffee filters, and plastic Tupperware, was a cell phone. Liv recognized it instantly as Audrey’s. She picked it up and tried to turn it on but the battery was dead. She’d have to figure out how to hack into it.

She quickly threw it in her bag as well, hearing it slide against the book.

She went through a few other boxes. It seemed like everything may have been Audrey’s that she wasn’t allowed to display or to mix with Ben’s things. Seemed like he probably made her a lot of promises of a perfect life—only to trap her in a nightmare before she realized it was too late.

Then, Liv hit the jackpot. She opened up one of the last boxes and discovered it was full of notebooks. The one at the very top—the one that stood out from all the rest—was the leather bound journal with her name engraved on the front.

Liv felt her heart quicken. She wanted to snatch it up, but her fingers lingered over it. It felt like finding the Holy Grail. It seemed too precious for a just anyone to touch, and Liv didn’t feel worthy. Or maybe…maybe she was just scared of what kind of words she would find if she looked. Would she discover an endless supply of love poems? Hate poems?

_No…heartbreak poems maybe. Depressing possibly. But never hate._

She heard footsteps out in the hall and she knew she couldn’t linger any longer. She quickly snatched the leather journal and threw it in her bag as well.

“You find anthi—whooaaa…you went through all of this?” Ravi asked from the closet entryway.

Liv stared down at the remaining journals she wouldn’t be able to take with her, “Um…kinda. A lot of it is just random household stuff.”

Ravi frowned, “You feeling okay? You look a little…I mean, I guess not _a little,_ you’re always very pale, but…you look _extremely_ pale right now.”

“I’m fine,” she answered quickly.

He looked at her with knowing eyes, “What did you find?”

She sighed and looked back at the notebooks, “I found a lot of Audrey’s notebooks. …Ravi, help me take them!” She turned toward him quickly but he didn’t even look surprised, “I just…I can’t take the thought of people— _strangers—_ reading all of my—her poems! She worked so hard on all of it, it wasn’t meant to be seen by anyone but her and Blaine, but I…” she breathed heavily and ran a hand through her hair as she felt what seemed to be an anxiety attack hitting her, “I can’t let anyone take them…”

“Calm down, Liv,” Ravi said in a soothing voice. Liv didn’t pick up on any condescending tone in his voice, but complete understanding, so his words alone were able to help her control her emotions, “I’ll cover them with some clothing and say that I need to run some samples. Maybe some of Ben’s blood got on a shirt.”

Ravi never thought he’d see the day when zombie Liv had some color return to her face.

Liv breathed out heavily between rounded lips, “Than you…”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and lowered his voice, “Go see what Clive’s up to. I’ll take care of things in here.”

She flashed him a thankful but still worried smile before dodging the boxes as she stepped out of the closet. She instantly felt the worry— _Audrey’s worry—_ slide off of her. She made her way into the bedroom where Clive was. He was opening and closing dresser drawers.

“Find anything?” Liv asked, hoping her voice sounded even and in control.

“Actually…it’s about what I’m _not_ finding,” Clive said as he checked the last drawer, “Seems like Big Ben may have had some time to pack before skipping town. Unless he always got by on the single pair of clothes he was wearing at the time.”

Liv looked around the fairly bland room. One dresser with six drawers, a queen-sized bed, a mirror that was just leaning up against the wall…

“You getting any more visions?”

She shook her head, “No…nothing like that. But I am feeling…very depressed here. This may look like a normal place, but I can feel the demons here.”

Clive looked worried, “Like, actual demons? Horns, spiked wings, succubus types?”

“Not _actual_ demons. Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with Ravi.”

He thought about it for a moment before nodding in agreement, “Sometimes seeing him for more than five minutes a day can be a bit much.”

“His personality can be overwhelming at times,” Liv vacantly agreed as she ran her hand across the nightstand.

_‘So hello from the other siiidde…I must’ve called a thousand tiiimes—’_

Liv quickly smashed her bag against her side in a poor attempt to muffle her phone. Clive was already looking at her with a raised eyebrow and Ravi peeked his head into the bedroom as well.

_‘To tell you I’m sorry…’_

Liv couldn’t take it anymore. She searched through her bag, cursing herself out for not remembering to put it back on vibrate.

_‘For everything that I’ve—’_

She found her phone and silenced it. She knew it was a text from Blaine—why she decided to be stupid and assign Adele’s song to him was beyond her and now everyone in the apartment knew that _someone_ was trying to say hello from the other side…

“Sorry about that…”

“You should prob’ly get that,” Ravi chimed in, “sounds like whoever it is has tried calling you a thousand times.”

“Haha,” she said dryly before turning away from her coworkers, silently thanking god that they went back to searching. She opened the text.

_‘I may have a lead on who this guy is.’_ **Sent at 10:46am**

She typed back.

_‘Ben Smith?’_ **Sent at 10:47am**

He texted back quickly.

_‘I got a Ben Runyan. You find something?’_ **Sent at 10:47am**

Liv looked over her shoulder to make sure she wasn’t being watched. When she felt it was safe, she opened her bag a bit more so she could take a picture of the leather journal she found. She sent the picture along with a text.

_‘I also found her cell.’_ **Sent at 10:48am**

_‘Where are you?’_ **Sent at 10:49am**

_‘I’m at Audrey’s apartment. You can’t come here, there’s detectives and cops swarming the place. They’re still looking for you because of the sketch I gave them. Come by the morgue tonight around 8.’_ **Sent at 10:50am**

_‘It’s a date.’_ **Sent at 10:50am**

Liv breathed lowly as she threw her phone back in her purse and continued doing her search even though she could hardly concentrate anymore. It couldn’t have been a coincidence that Blaine somehow found a Ben as well. And his seemed more likely…Ben Smith definitely sounded more like an alias. A common name to get by on. She had to ask Blaine what kind of connections he had to find something out so fast.

She was also nervous about meeting him in approximately nine hours. She knew she probably shouldn’t have _invited_ him to the morgue, but she didn’t know where else to go. Ravi would have all of Audrey’s journals there. They could go through them together—or maybe she shouldn’t snoop. She didn’t know if having Audrey’s brains qualified her to go reading her stuff. But who was she kidding. She had to.

Plus, Ravi would probably still be there, which would help keep her emotions in check.

And to add onto all that, she didn’t know where all this would lead to by the end of the night. Would Blaine have found Ben by then and have him tied up and tortured? Would he become emotional over seeing all of Audrey’s old notebooks?

_‘I’ll be there for him if that happens…’_

_‘Wait, no. Stop thinking like that, Liv.’_

She quickly found Ravi again, lowering her voice when she was next to him, “Blaine’s coming to the morgue tonight. You _have_ to be there.”

“I don’t really like chaperoning dates…”

She punched him half-heartedly in his arm, “It’s not like that. But he has a better lead than we do on Ben. I want to hear what he has to say.”

Ravi nodded, “Guess I can be a part of that. Oh wait…what time is he due to arrive?” Ravi took out his cell.

“Eight o’clock.”

Ravi entered the time into his phone and then showed her his screen which read **08:57:34 (33…32…31…)**. _“It’s the final count—.”_

“Stop.”

Though Ravi looked sad that he couldn’t finish the lyric, Liv smirked at him, “You can finish it when he arrives.”

Ravi gave a victory pump with a hissing, “Yessss!” and it really made Liv glad she had someone like him around when things were spiraling out of control in her life—which was basically since she met him. He was the only one that instantly accepted her as a zombie and never judged her. She wondered if Audrey had any friends like that, or if she was literally trapped in a world with no one except Large Man—Big Ben.

She hoped Audrey had a Ravi in her life. Everyone needs a Ravi.


	7. Road Trip

**Contagious**

**VII.**

_The rest of the day dragged on longer than it ever should have. After we got done at Audrey’s apartment, Ravi and I headed back to the morgue while Clive sat down for some research on how to find Audrey’s killer. Too bad I couldn’t tell him that someone else was way ahead of him._

_Speaking of that someone, I could only stare at the box full of notebooks for so long before driving myself insane. I wanted to read them—_ all _of them so badly, and I wasn’t just waiting for Blaine to arrive, but I was mentally preparing myself for what her words could lead me to. I had a hard enough time fighting off Audrey’s feelings, but to enter her deepest thoughts could send me over the edge._

_And I just really hoped Blaine was in a mood where it would be easier to hate him. Ravi could make sure I wouldn’t light candles and play some Marvin Gaye, but he wouldn’t be able to stop what was going on with me internally. I wished he could. I wished_ anyone _could. It wasn’t going to be that simple, though…_

_\---_

Liv paced the length of the morgue as Ravi stood in front of the box of notebooks. His eyes were wide as though he was trying to use his mind to open them so he wouldn’t get yelled at for touching them.

“You know what I think?” Ravi asked suddenly.

“Tell me,” Liv answered nervously as she chewed on her nails.

“I think you should read some of these _before_ Blaine gets here,” he turned to face her, “It would be a good talking point.”

“I don’t _need_ a good talking point, I need to know what he plans on doing with Audrey’s killer,” she groaned and whipped out her phone to check the time. 7:51. “You don’t think anyone else is here, do you?”

“Blaine has come in unnoticed before…”

“Yeah, well, the last thing I need is for Blaine to get caught _now.”_

“It warms my heart to hear you worrying about me,” Blaine’s entrance line made both Liv and Ravi turn to the stairs that Blaine casually strolled down. He held the air of someone that owned the place and was checking up on his employees and it made Liv’s head pound loudly.

_“Countdowwwnnn!”_ Ravi finally finished the lyric from hours earlier.

Liv only shot him a quick disapproving look before turning her attention back to Blaine, “Any new update?”

“Mr. Ben’s hightailed it out of Seattle. I got word that he was seen in Portland, but might be heading for some lesser known cities until this murder case dies down,” Blaine pulled out his cell to see if he had any new messages, “I need to head him off at the pass.”

_“You?”_ Liv asked with concern, “Don’t you have…I dunno, _employees_ to do that for you?”

He placed his phone back in his coat pocket and stared at her as he slowly neared her. She wanted to take her eyes away from him but it seemed almost impossible to do. She was wearing flats and it made her realize how small she was next to him (or anyone for that matter, but she usually tried to avoid the height difference when it came to her enemy), yet it somehow made her feel both empowered and vulnerable.

Blaine stopped in front of her, his face a blank canvas when he said, “Not when it’s personal.”

Off in the distance, Liv heard Ravi clear his throat. She blinked her eyes, thankful she didn’t get caught going into vision mode.

“You wanna show him her cell?” Ravi asked, reminding Liv of what Blaine was really there for.

“Right...” Liv snatched her bag up, which was right beside of the box of notebooks, and pulled out Audrey’s cell phone, “I charged it earlier. It’s working…we just need her password.” She handed it to Blaine.

“So no vision?” he asked as he opened it to the password screen and tried a random guess.

“No…not yet, anyway.”

Blaine put the phone in his pocket and looked at the notebooks before grabbing the top one and flipping through the pages. He chucked, “Just like her…leave twenty pages blank then write a few lines on some random page...”

Liv looked at the notebook with anxiety, wanting to snatch it from him but knowing that wouldn’t be right. She wanted so badly to read through it all day that seeing him casually skimming over pages was making her envious.

“Listen to this,” he said as he stood next to her, showing her what he was reading, _“I don’t have any regrets. Not really. I wish I could have written about the life we might have had. Then about all the ways we died and found our way back to each other again.”_

Liv only glanced at the words before looking up at Blaine to see his reaction. He seemed so…detached. Like he was told to read a poem or he would fail the class. She was having a hard time deciphering him. First he called the situation _personal_ then he acted like it wasn’t.

“You have the leather notebook?” He asked, closing the flimsy Mead spiral bound notebook.

“Not if you’re just going to dismiss what’s written in it,” she snapped, pressing her purse tightly to her side as if she were protecting a child.

Blaine folded in his lips and slowly licked the bottom one. It was something Liv was sure she saw him do before, but she was suddenly hypnotized by it. She heard Ravi calling her name somewhere in the back of her mind, but the vision she was having was louder.

_“You really want to fight_ me?” _young Blaine asked Audrey teasingly as he slowly came closer to her, licking his lips and eyeing her up and down._

_She laughed cutely and held up her fists, “You want a piece of me? Take one step closer and I’ll—,” she screamed as he picked her up and easily threw her over his shoulder. Her body bounced as he carried her down a hall, but she chose to leave her head facing him._

_Slapping his butt a few times like she was playing the drums, she admitted: “I can’t say I lost with a view like this.”_

Without realizing she was doing it, Liv was licking her lips just as he had.

“I hate to break up this moment,” Ravi grabbed Liv’s shoulders and pulled her away from Blaine, “But as your chaperone, I have to say that this is getting a bit uncomfortable.”

“It’s bad form to wake people up from sex dreams!” Blaine countered with a look of satisfaction.

“No sex and no dreams on my watch!” Ravi argued, looking down at Liv who seemed both embarrassed and distracted.

“I wish I could leave these memories in the past…” Liv started randomly, calming both Blaine and Ravi down as they stared at her far-off gaze, “I wish I had the strength to walk away and the courage to let you go.”

“Aww…” Ravi pouted his lips, “that was so poignant yet quixotic.”

“Glad to hear she still had her talent all the way up until the end. And even beyond, it seems,” Blaine commented, then held up Audrey’s phone, “Well, Ms. Pretend Ex, it’s been fun, and thanks for the phone, but I’m leaving to show this son-of-a-bitch a taste of his own medicine.”

He turned to leave. Ravi instantly saw the look of panic on Liv’s face and shook his head before she even started speaking, “No, wait! I’m coming with you.”

Blaine stopped in his tracks but only turned his head to the side as though he was both interested and against the idea.

Ravi laughed nervously and held up a finger to Blaine, “Let me just…speak to her for a minute.” He grabbed her shoulders again and backed her to a table. He lowered his voice as he stared into her eyes, “Liv, think about this. You said you _just_ made up with Major last night. Also, it’s Blaine. Also, you going after this guy like this is _completely_ against protocol. Also, it’s _Blaine!”_

Her lips turned into a frown as she considered his argument. She looked around him to Blaine who was staring down at Audrey’s phone. He seemed momentarily distant. And though he kept joking around, she could tell he was also in a lot of pain. He wouldn’t be in such a hurry to leave if he wasn’t. She also remembered his initial look when he first found out about Audrey—when Liv went to Shady Plots and broke the news—how white his knuckles turned as he gripped his desk. How his eyes completely lost all hope.

Blaine felt her eyes on him and turned to her. Their gaze met and Liv felt the poetry flutter inside her heart. Without breaking eye contact with Blaine, she told Ravi, “I’m going with him. I need to do this…”

Ravi’s shoulders slumped when he realized that he was powerless to stop her, “What are you going to tell Major? Or _Clive?”_

“I’ll call in sick to work,” she said, then looked at him with her big puppy dog eyes, “Can you talk to Major for me?”

He groaned and shook his head in disappointment, “Why _me?”_

“’Cause he already thinks there’s something going on between Blaine and I!”

“Yeah, well, there _kinda_ is!” Ravi pointed out.

“You gonna be my sidekick or what, _Lady Live More?”_ Blaine spoke up, obviously getting impatient.

Liv crossed her arms and scoffed, though her eyes twinkled teasingly; she slowly walked toward him as she spoke, “Let’s get one thing straight, _Brain-Man,_ if anyone’s the sidekick, it’s _you.”_

She watched as interest flashed through his pale eyes, “We shall see—whoever saves the other first is exempt from sidekick status.”

She grinned and held out her hand, “Deal.”

Blaine smirked and nodded his head approvingly. He gripped her small hand in his and squeezed more than was necessary, “Deal.”

“Still think this is a bad idea,” Ravi called from the background, “Not that my opinion matters much to you guys or anything.” He put on his _don’t come crying to me_ face then snapped his fingers as a thought came to mind, “Liv, you’re gonna need brains. Who knows how long you’ll be gone.”

“I got a fresh one in my car,” Blaine offered.

Ravi and Liv gave him an unsure look, causing him to roll his eyes, “They’re not the brains of a serial killer, or a drug addict, or anything like that. You have my word.”

Liv nodded once, “Great, then it’s all set. Can we just stop by my apartment so I can get some clothes?”

“By all means,” Blaine held out his arm for her to take like they were prom dates. Liv hated when she flinched just enough to show that she was about to loop her arm through his before she caught herself.

She grabbed the box of notebooks then gave Ravi an unreadable stare, “Wish me luck.”

“Luck…” he said simply.

“All right, let’s go,” she walked past Blaine without glancing back but sensed him following her. When they got to the back parking lot, he opened the trunk for her to put the box in, “I really think we should read through some of these…it might give us some clues?”

He eyed her knowingly before picking out a yellow notebook and handing it to her, “You don’t have to come up with excuses with me. I know your brain of angst wants to read them out of pure enjoyment and torture.”

Liv held the notebook close to her chest, “Yeah, well I suppose you know me better than I know me right now.”

Blaine didn’t say anything as he unlocked the car for them and they both got in. The first thing Liv noticed was how new his car smelled. But with the money he made, she shouldn’t be surprised. He probably got a new car every month to hide his tracks.

_‘I’m going on a road trip with a murderer to catch a murderer…how did my life come to this?’_

“You don’t drive like you live, do you?” She asked with a forced smile as he started the car.

“How’s that? Dangerously?” He whipped out of the parking lot and onto the empty side street.

“You read my mind…”

They drove in silence though Liv could hear the low music coming from his radio, and it was some sort of orchestral. She felt like she heard it somewhere before but couldn’t place her finger on it.

“So do you have a plan?” She asked.

“I did, but it’s changed a bit now that you’re here. We can find him and you can go all—what do you call it?— _full-on zombie mode_ on him.”

“He needs to be _arrested,_ not killed,” Liv countered.

“Ha! Okay, let’s go with that for now,” Blaine agreed, though with a smile that proved _not_ killing Ben was not in the cards.

Liv sat forward and faced him, watching as his face lit up every time they drove under a streetlamp, “I’m serious, Blaine. If we’re caught killing him, we can get in a lot of trouble. Not to mention we’d be no better than him…”

He shook his head and his eyes caught hers for a second, “That’s the _thing_ with you goody two-shoes: You think every murder is the same and wrong on the same level. _They’re not._ Audrey was a good girl who didn’t deserve this. Ben, on the other hand…” he tensed his mouth and she could tell he was suppressing his anger, “he deserves worse.”

She pressed her back against the seat and stared out her window, “But there’s no turning back once you do it. Revenge kills the anger, but it intensifies the sadness.”

“Sometimes anger needs to die—it’s a sacrifice,” he turned his head to her as he pulled in front of her apartment, “Right?”

Despite herself, Audrey told her to smile and say: “You’re supposed to be the poem, not the poet.”

Without waiting for a response, Liv jumped out of his car and ran up to her apartment as quickly as she could. When she unlocked the door, she accidentally used too much pressure opening it and the door slammed against the back wall. Gilda was chopping up vegetables on the counter, and Liv clenched her teeth when she saw her jump and nick her finger with the sharp knife.

“Damn it, what the hell!” Gilda yelled as she stuck the side of her finger in her mouth.

“Sorry! Sorry…I’m in a rush and…didn’t mean to—do you need me to get you a band-aide?”

“Yeah, that’ll be helpful,” her roommate snapped a bit harshly, though Liv couldn’t say she blamed her. Liv rushed to the bathroom and pulled out a band-aide from the medicine cabinet.

“Why are you in a hurry?” Gilda asked once Liv was wrapping the band-aide around her finger.

“I’m…umm…leaving town for awhile. Family emergency,” Liv thought up quickly, not wanting to get Gilda involved in all of this.

Gilda frowned her plump lips at her, “Aww, I’m sorry. Hope everything is okay?”

“It’ll be fine,” she answered before running into her bedroom and grabbing her large duffle bag out of her closet. She saw Gilda standing in her doorway watching her which reminded her of Major doing the same thing the night before, “Oh yeah…and I let my…boyfriend? Wait…I don’t know what he—I let him spend the night last night. Sorry if you came home and found him on the couch.”

She looked genuinely confused, “Nope. No one was here when I came home. Should I be expecting him to drop by while you’re gone?”

“No, I’ll tell Major I won’t be here,” Liv dismissed as she tossed random clothes in her bag.

“Oh… _Major?_ That’s—happening?”

Something in Gilda’s voice made Liv narrow her eyes at her, but she didn’t have time to evaluate it, “Yeah…my ex-fiancé. Remember I told you about him?”

“Oh believe me…” Gilda’s smile was stiff, “I remember.”

“Okay…” Liv picked up her bag and squeezed past her to get to the bathroom and grab some essentials, “I shouldn’t be gone long. You can dance around the apartment naked with a boy for a few days if you want,” Liv chuckled at her own joke.

Gilda nodded and a smirk slowly lit up her face, “You know, I just might do that.”

Liv zipped up her bag and threw it over her shoulder, “I have to go. See you soon,” she quickly hugged her roommate before leaving just as fast as she’d arrived. She made it back out into the cool night air, seeing Blaine in the car bobbing his head and waving his finger like he was a conductor in front of an orchestra. She grinned as she opened the backdoor and threw her bag into the backseat before taking her passenger seat again.

Blaine had the music up loud, but turned it down when she got settled. Liv shook her head and said, “I need to remember this,” as she turned the volume up again.

Liv closed her eyes and rested her head back so she didn’t see the look Blaine gave her. If she did, she would have been taken away by the admiration and intensity in his stare.


	8. Club Zombie

**Contagious**

**VIII.**

_We drove for over half the night. We listened to his music the whole time—I learned a lot more about Johannes Brahms than I ever thought I would. Which is saying something, considering I didn’t even know the name prior. Blaine’s knowledge on symphonies was pretty awe-inspiring. Who knew this murdering ex-zombie would like something so…calming._

_I also read through Audrey’s journal a lot; at first, just to myself, but then Blaine told me to read some aloud. Listening to Blaine’s music while reading Audrey’s words made me feel like I was bringing two star-crossed lovers together again. And I swear it made me feel alive again._

_Of course, I tried to keep these feelings buried. They were only temporary, after all, and would disappear as soon as I got hungry._

_It was about 2:30 in the morning about time we reached the club Blaine’s minions told him Ben was seen at. How they knew this information, I was almost scared to ask. Exactly how many eyes did Blaine have on the west coast? It made me wonder if Blaine was more powerful than I previously thought…_

_\-------_

“ _Club Z to A?”_ Liv asked when they parked across the street from the club. The music was so loud, it was pouring out of the building and all the way inside the car, “What kind of name is that?”

“It represents all the fun you have before you have to start over again the next day,” Blaine answered absently as he texted quickly on his phone.

Liv nodded slowly, “Wow. Profound. So what’s the plan?”

Blaine finished up on the phone before stuffing it in his pocket. He turned toward her with a smirk, “Well, first, we gotta drug him.” He scooted his seat back then reached around to dig into one of the yellow containers he had in the backseat. Liv’s eyes widened as they scanned down his body—when he was twisted like that, she could see his bare stomach just slightly and—

She blinked quickly when he turned back around and slumped in his seat again. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to get herself under control. Blaine held up a needle, “One shot of this stuff will slow him down—then wherever he passes out, he can gather him up and take it from there.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Um, okay—one problem though. In my visions, this guy is _huge._ How are we just going to _carry_ him somewhere?”

“Oh, come on, Liv! You’re a _zombie!_ Just use some of that zombie strength and throw him over your shoulder.”

“Ugh, that’s not how it works and you know it,” she retorted, rubbing her temples with her palms, “I’m not gonna go full-on zombie mode in the middle of a busy club.”

Blaine placed the covered needle in his jacket pocket before opening his door, “Let’s figure it out when it comes time for that then, okay?”

“Blaine, wait!” Liv called, leaning over to the driver side. Blaine leaned down, looking in at her, “We should really get a better—.”

He shook his head, “No time. Besides—don’t you trust me?”

Her eyes widened into a vision.

_She was staring at Blaine, watching as he pulled his dark shirt over his head. He smiled at her, leaning forward and kissing her quickly before raising her own shirt over her head._

_“I’m a little nervous,” Audrey said with a short laugh._

_“What’s wrong—don’t you trust me?” Blaine asked playfully while pulling her toward him._

_She giggled and laid her head on his chest, “You know it’s not that. This is just…my first time…”_

_“Just relax,” he told her, raising her head to meet his eyes, “I’ll take care of you.”_

“I’m gonna take your lack of response as a yes,” Blaine answered for her before closing the car door.

Liv hurriedly got out of the car as well, trying to cool herself down from her latest vision, “How are we going to find him in that place?” She asked, walking quickly to keep up with him, “It looks packed.”

“We’ll just have to split up,” He looked over at her and she tried to hide her embarrassment as his eyes seemed to bore into her, “You’re not really dressed for a place like this, but I guess it’ll have to do.”

“Excuse me for not packing my seven-inch boots and fishnets,” Liv shot back, pulling her black blazer closed and crossing her arms.

“Mm, don’t go distracting me now,” he teased, flashing that smug smirk of his.

She looked away from him, willing her brain to calm down, “Don’t make me stab _you_ with that needle.”

“It might make you feel better…you’ll be able to take full advantage of me,” he walked closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, his fingers gliding against her collar bone.

Liv smirked and leaned into him, her head falling flawlessly against his neck. It only took her a few seconds before realizing what she was doing and pushed him away roughly, “You’re such a misogynistic, self-centered, lowlife, asshole, cru—.”

“Don’t use up all your insults in one round,” he warned her, popping up the collar on his jacket as they reached the entrance of the club, “You might regret it later.”

Blaine then opened the door for her, the already loud music getting raised by several volumes. Liv gave him one last warning look before walking in, feeling him directly behind her. The club was pretty dark, a bright blue strobe flashing every few seconds to light the way for all the dancers.

He leaned close to her so he could yell in her ear for her to hear, “Let’s meet back here in twenty! Maybe one of us will find him!”

She yelled back in his ear, “I don’t have a needle!”

“For once in your life, use your charm! Lure him to this spot!” He nodded as he looked down at her, expecting her to agree easily.

But she looked at him like he was crazy—he expected her to _seduce_ the guy that killed Audrey? Her eyes clearly said _Are you out of your damn mind?!_ But her voice was caught in her throat. She vaguely felt him squeeze her arm as a good luck token before he seemed to disappear in the flash of the strobe.

Liv stomped her foot as she suddenly felt alone in a crowded club. She stood on her tip-toes to look around—it didn’t do much and she cursed her shortness. She randomly began walking, dodging all the crazy dancers with their wildly flinging arms and swinging hips. There were a few times she somehow got dragged into a group of dancers who were trying to get her involved, but she would duck out of the circle and escape.

She felt like she was on a wild goose chase that wasn’t going to lead them anywhere. She was beginning to think that maybe following Blaine here was a huge mistake, and she should have listened to Ravi. Blaine was more than capable of handling whatever was going to happen. Plus, she could get fired for doing this.

Making her way over to a wall, she stopped to catch her breath and figure out where to go from there. She pulled out her phone, only then noticing that she had three missed calls and one voicemail from Major.

“Shit, Ravi must have told him…” she said even though she couldn’t hear herself. She had to know what his voicemail said despite how nervous she felt. She looked around her to try to find an easy path to the exit. It was completely crowded and she would just have to fight her way through again.

She dodged her way through people, but then got herself caught up in a very dense area. A new song came on that made everyone around her go crazy, their loud screams and stomping feet making her feel like she was in a mosh pit. She felt her irritation growing and tried to talk herself into staying calm so her zombie side wouldn’t take over.

Then her small frame got shoved hard and her phone slipped from her hand. She screamed when she watched it crash to the floor, then get kicked into the crowd until she couldn’t see it anymore. She cursed loudly, though it went unheard, as she still tried to push forward to hopefully spot her phone.

Then she bumped into someone solid, large hands grabbing onto her shoulders. She only glanced up briefly to mutely apologize, but it only took that one second for her to realize who she ran into. She had enough vivid visions by this time to know that face anywhere.

Her eyes widened as she stared into the face of Audrey’s killer. Ben was clearly flying high on some kind of drug, his eyes hollow and bloodshot. His mouth moved—he was saying something to her but she couldn’t hear. It was suddenly like she went deaf, the only sound being waves rushing in and out of her ears.

She tried to shake herself free of the vision that was taking over hard.

_Ben held onto her arms, shaking her roughly as he yelled. His words were slurred to the point that it was hard to make out any coherent words, but his face was full of rage. He pushed her to the ground, the hard floor coming up too fast for her to catch herself properly. He flipped her over; blood poured down from her forehead and into her eye._

_“Please, just let me go!” Audrey yelled before squeezing her eyes shut tight when Ben raised his fist._

Liv snapped out of the vision but began losing control of another part of herself. Fear and panic weighed on her soul, and her sight became blood red when her body went into full-on zombie mode. Her feet pounced from the ground, her small body making heavy contact with his giant one, but sending him to the ground nonetheless.

Many of the dancers parted as Liv and Ben made a large hole in the crowd. She blacked out from her rage, but felt a few people grabbing onto her arms to try to lift her up. She swatted at them, all the people jumping away from her quickly. That’s when the normal part of her—the non-zombie part—told her that she could potentially infect innocent bystanders and that was not at all what she stood for.

She breathed heavily as she got her rage under control, her eyesight returning to normal. She looked around at all her spectators, though for the most part, everyone continued dancing as though brawls like this happened every night.

Liv only had a moment to realize that Ben was still beneath her before she was punched in the jaw. She flew off of him, her body landing hard on the ground beside him. She had a brief look into his eyes—and she knew that he knew she must be after him for Audrey’s murder—before he got up and ran, bounding into people like he was a bowling bowl and everyone else were pins.

She held her face as she watched him disappear into the crowd; she was shocked more than hurt, only somewhat realizing it when people helped her to her feet.

“Are you okay?!” A girl yelled in her face. She was wearing way too much eye shadow and blush, but her eyes still looked concerned, “He just sucker punched you and you don’t even look fazed!”

Liv shook her head, backing away from the girl and the few others that looked worried, “I’m fine! Thanks, but…I’m fine!” She turned and left the crowd, once again trying to make her way back to the exit.

To her relief, Blaine was just then making his way to their designated spot as well.

“Did you f—,” Blaine started.

“Yes! The douchebag freakin’ punched me!” She yelled, holding her face even though the pain was nearly nonexistent—one of the few great perks of being a zombie.

“Are you kidding?” He grabbed her jaw and turned her face from side to side, “Why didn’t you just take him down?!”

“I almost did, but there were too many people around me. I think he might have found some back exit!” She pushed the doors open, exiting the loud club, the air ringing in her ears. She turned to the left and began running, her feet patting almost silently on the ground as she rounded the corner.

“I’ll go around the other way to try and corner him!” Blaine yelled after her and Liv yelled back her acknowledgment.

Liv ran past a few groups of smokers, her eyes scanning the area of anywhere Ben might be hiding. She turned the corner again, seeing a backdoor up ahead. He would have definitely exited from there, if he did. She slowed down, looking down the dark street that he would have ran down. But she didn’t spot anyone.

“Anything?” Blaine asked as he rounded from the opposite corner.

She placed her hands on her hips as she tried to catch her breath. She shook her head, “I don’t know which way he went…”

_“Shit!”_ Blaine snapped, pulling out his phone and dialing in a number before pressing it to his ear. Liv sucked in one more deep breath before she returned to normal. Her eyes met Blaine’s, the two staring at each other as he waited for whoever he was calling to pick up.

“Hey, it’s me. We lost him.”

And though he said _we,_ she felt like it was all her. It was her that found him and let him get away. If only she didn’t let her guard down so quickly, she could have punched him out and they would have him in their clutches. She felt like she let Audrey down. She let Blaine down, too.

She reached up to feel her jaw again, making sure it wasn’t popped out of place. That’s when the smell of blood hit her. Her eyes wandered down to her shaky hand, her breath hitching when she caught sight of blood underneath her fingernails.

Blaine talked in code for a few more moments before hanging up, “Okay, well…they’re gonna have to expand the search to—what’s wrong?”

She snapped her head up to him, raising her hand for him to see, “Um…I think I just made a terrible mistake…”

He grabbed her hand quickly, his eyes scanning over her nails. He looked at her, bewildered, before he pursed his lips together in an annoyed way, “Shit…you scratched him, didn’t you?”

This certainly wasn’t going to make things any easier.


	9. Torn in Two

**Contagious**

**IX.**

_To say that I was embarrassed would be a huge understatement. It was supposed to be my job to catch people, and I let the worst one ever escape. I assumed Blaine was confident that I would be able to bring him down with ease, which is why his plan going into the club was lacking, to put it mildly._

_Blaine’s guys needed time to figure out where Ben escaped to. Again, I don’t know how many eyes Blaine has, but it sounds like a lot. After the initial shock of finding out that I scratched Ben, Blaine didn’t seem too deterred. “We’ll get him next time.”_

_He ended up driving us to a hotel, saying that we would pick up where we left off in the morning. It wasn’t a five-star hotel, but it wasn’t some sleazy roadside motel either. He didn’t ask if I wanted a separate room and I didn’t bring it up. Poor decision, I know…_

_\--------_

Blaine dropped the huge box of Audrey’s notebooks on the desk beside the TV before tossing his duffel bag of clothes on one of the queen beds. Liv could see the bags under his eyes as she slowly closed the door behind her.

“Ya know,” he started abruptly, causing her to jump, “when I first became a zombie, one of the most annoying things was never being able to fall asleep. But when I became human again, I missed the constant adrenaline.”

Liv chuckled briefly as she set her bag on the free bed, then walking the small yellow cooler over to the fridge. She knew there was a brain inside…and she couldn’t deny it anymore, she was starting to get hungry. But she could go just a little bit longer before preparing a meal…

“If you think a little harder, you’ll remember that it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be.

Blaine only grumbled a response before he fell back on his bed, his tired eyes staring up at the ceiling. Liv couldn’t help but stare, and even though Audrey’s brains were starting to wear off, they still had a huge control of her. The urge inside her to curl up next to him was almost too powerful to ignore. It was like when she ate that country singer and song writer’s brains. She _needed_ to get up on stage and perform. Ignoring that part of her made her feel like she was being torn in half.

Very much like how she felt now.

“Blaine…”

“Hm?”

She sighed and slumped down on the chair beside his bed, “I don’t think—I can’t apologize enough for letting Ben get away…I just—I feel like I let you down and now you’re going to hate me.” Liv winced at her words, knowing they were more Audrey’s than hers, and she hoped Blaine understood this.

He groaned lowly as he pulled himself up and back, until his back was flush against the headboard, “Listen, Audrey…you mind if I call you Audrey right now?”

“Umm…”

“I don’t hate you for it,” he continued before Liv could answer, “I mean…the objective was to kill him right?” He laughed, “Well… _you killed him.”_

Liv’s lips parted at his explanation. She really didn’t think about it that way…but it was true. She did kill him by scratching him. Of course, not in the way that it was planned, but when do missions like these ever go according to plan?

Blaine yawned loudly, “I haven’t slept in two days.”

This made Liv remember that it was just the night before that she texted Blaine at three in the morning and then assigned him Adele’s “Hello” ringtone. Which then made her think about her phone, “Oh, _damn it!_ I forgot that I dropped my phone at the club.”

“We’ll go back in the morning,” Blaine assured her, his eyes falling shut as he spoke.

Liv wasn’t so sure they would find it, at least not in one piece. She wondered how many more times Major tried calling her and what he was doing right now. Was he worried about her, or thinking that she had been lying about her and Blaine? Did he want to forget he ever knew her again?

“You should read me something,” Blaine interrupted her thoughts, his head cocking to the box of notebooks on the desk.

Liv held her breath as she was struck with a memory.

_“Read me a bedtime story,” Blaine begged Audrey as she walked toward his bed. He was under the covers and, at the very least, shirtless._

_Audrey laughed and crawled into bed with him, feeling his skin against hers, “What are you, five?”_

_Blaine wrapped his arm around her stomach and pulled her close to him, a sense of calmness and passion filling her, “It can be practice for when we have a five year old of our own.”_

_Audrey blinked rapidly, her fingers sliding down the smoothness of his face, “You mean that?”_

_He looked at her with the shiniest teal eyes, “Of course—can’t keep my good looks all to myself, now can I?”_

Liv came back to herself, her hands gripping the armrests on either side of her.

“Welcome back,” Blaine droned, his voice extremely heavy with sleep now, “So is that a yes?”

Liv only nodded slightly, a quick bob of the head that he probably missed. She stood up and went to the box of notebooks, grabbing the first two on top. She slowly turned around to face him, his body still in a sitting position despite how tired he seemed to be. She swallowed hard, and she was beginning to feel like she was being torn in half again. People don’t realize how strong their emotions are until they start trying to fight them, and that only ever makes it worse.

And for Liv, to basically ignore _her_ feelings for three days now, was making her feel insane.

And before she knew it, she was sitting herself beside him on his bed, the two notebooks on her lap.

“It’s hard, huh?” He murmured, his head lazily turning toward her, “Wanting me this bad but knowing you can’t do anything about it?”

Liv rolled her eyes despite feeling a warmness spread through her belly, “It’s comments like that that makes it hard to decide if I want to slap you or kiss you.”

He cracked an eye open to look at her, a lopsided grin spreading over his lips before he let out a soft chuckle. She realized what she said, maybe five seconds too late, her knuckles knocking on the side of her head as she insulted herself over and over.

“Go easy on yourself,” he inhaled deeply before closing his eyes again, his head rolling back to face forward again, “I was a zombie too, remember? I know how strong the urges can be.”

She only looked at him from her peripheral vision. Why was he being so nice and understanding? Was this some sort of setup? Part of a joke? Or was he just too tired to be an asshole?

“And for the record,” he said again, and it seemed like he was trying to keep himself awake a little longer by talking, “ _You_ were always the one that popped an attitude with me.”

Liv clicked her tongue and swung open one of the notebooks.

“Liv?” She looked over to him even though his eyes were still closed, “Audrey really did still love me up until the end?”

Her shoulders slumped and her eyes softened. His eyebrows were narrowed, his face strained as he waited for her to answer. He should know the answer already though. Liv wouldn’t be sitting next to him on a hotel bed if it wasn’t true.

“I never felt a love this strong before,” she said, honestly, just above a whisper.

She was hoping the answer would ease his tension, but it only seemed to make it worse. His eyes narrowed just a bit more and his lips pursed together. The lines in her forehead were deep and worried, and she was sure that if he opened his eyes, there’d be tears. Which was probably why he was keeping them closed.

“I’ve never seen such a handsome thinker,” Liv said aloud, the words coming directly from Audrey’s mouth.

He didn’t crack a smile like she hoped he would, “I’m wondering if it would feel like I was kissing her if I kissed you right now.”

Liv’s breath got caught in her throat and she quickly looked down at the blur of words in front of her. She started reading one of Audrey’s poems, though none of the words were sticking with her. Her mind was elsewhere—to the man sitting next to her that just said something that got her excited yet broke her heart. Even though it was obviously Audrey that was attracted to him and loved him, being called another girl’s name, or being wished she was someone else, was not at all what she wanted.

And she had to remind herself of that. She may have Audrey’s brains, but she was still Liv. No one could take the spot that was at her core.

She didn’t know how long she’d been reading, maybe only fifteen minutes, but when she looked back over to Blaine, he was fast asleep. Gone were the lines in his forehead and the tense look around his mouth. He was now completely relaxed and she couldn’t help but wonder if he had normal dreams now that he was alive again.

Liv quietly tossed the two notebooks over to her bed before moving to her knees so she could carefully lay him down. She didn’t know how he managed to fall asleep sitting up, but figured he must do it a lot to remain so still.

“Stay,” he murmured when his head hit the pillow; she must have jerked him awake a little during the move. But he fell right back to sleep and she knew, without a doubt, that he was having a dream about Audrey. And again, it filled her and it broke her. Her mind flashed with all the memories she had, and with all the sad glances he’d given her over the past few days.

Somehow, Blaine lost his way, but once upon a time, he was a normal guy that was in love with a wonderful girl. And she _hated_ that his story would never have a happily ever after.

She turned away from him, recalling how he talked about kissing her. She couldn’t look at him anymore. The split inside of her was igniting her and it hurt more than any emotional pain she’d ever experienced, and she cursed Audrey for feeling everything so passionately.

Liv went to the fridge and stared at the yellow container with the random brain in it. As soon as she ate it, Audrey would be gone. And normally, at this point in the game, she would welcome a new personality. But the thought of letting Audrey go suddenly terrified her.

She turned to the table to see Blaine’s cell phone. She bit her lip before picking it up. Lock screen. It needed Blaine’s fingerprint to open. Quietly, she grabbed his finger and pressed it to the screen. She laid his hand back down, but her fingers lingered over his skin for a second longer than they should have.

Turning quickly, she slipped outside into the cool night air before pressing _call_ to the only other person she could talk to right now.

“This better be good,” Ravi answered on the fourth ring. She knew she’d woken him up.

“Who is it?” She heard Peyton’s voice in the background, and couldn’t help but smile. It was always good to hear her voice, and, despite having not made up with her yet, she was still glad Peyton and Ravi had each other.

“Ravi, it’s me,” Liv said quickly, not wanting him to believe it was Blaine.

“Oh! It’s uh…work. Go back to sleep, I’ll be right now,” he told Peyton away from the phone. Liv heard him shuffle out of bed and when he got where he needed to be, he spoke to her again, “Liv, what’s going on? Everything okay?”

“Um, yeah! Yeah, everything’s fine. I was just…calling…” she trailed off.

Ravi sighed, “Everything’s not _fine,_ or you wouldn’t be calling me this late on _Blaine’s_ phone.”

“I accidentally lost my phone…” she explained shortly.

“Did you put air quotes around _accidentally?”_

“What? No! It really was an—why would I _purposely_ lose my phone?”

“Oh, I dunno…to disappear with your new lover boy?” Liv could hear the teasing tone in his voice.

“ _Haha_. No, that’s not it. But…Ravi, I need a favor.”

Ravi groaned heavily, “Please don’t make me tell Major you died and that he’s never gonna see you again.”

“Stop being so dramatic for one second!” She was firm, but she knew he knew she was teasing him now. “No, this is…well, this might be worse, I don’t know. I need you to overnight the rest of Audrey’s brains to me.”

He was silent for longer than he was ever silent before, and Liv had to check the phone to make sure they didn’t lose connection. She prepared herself for the million and one questions he was about to fire at her and, truthfully, she wasn’t sure if she was going to give him any answer that would make sense. He knew Blaine had a brain for her before they left. And they both knew there were plenty of other brains in the morgue he could overnight her if absolutely necessary.

“Liv…are you sure you know what you’re doing?” He asked gently, and she could hear the protective brother and best friend in him.

Her eyes filled with tears because, _no,_ she wasn’t sure what she was doing. She paced back and forth in front of her hotel door, “I dunno, Ravi, I just—I just know I can’t let him— _it_ go yet. There’s still so much I have to do. For Audrey.”

Ravi was still quiet. Then he said: “You know Major’s been going crazy, right?”

“Yes…”

“And you remember that Blaine was the one that turned you into a zombie that caused you to break up with Major, and then he made you turn Major into a zombie which made him go even crazier, right?”

“Yes…”

“Okay. Just wanted to make sure you remembered all that. I’ll get it handled. I’ll have Audrey’s brains to you asap.”

Liv couldn’t help but let out a sob. Ravi was the most trustworthy person she knew and he never once let her down, despite all the times he could have. She rattled off the hotel address to him and breathlessly thanked him.

“I owe you,” she told him.

“Good thing you know what my fave chocolate is.”

When Liv went back into the room, she turned off the lights and reluctantly crawled onto her own bed. She laid facing him, watching him in the dark, how his body rose and fell with each living breath he took.

She just hoped she was ready for a second dosage of Audrey’s brains. She was getting used to them now, which was dangerous, because Audrey’s personality could now start piling atop her own. And she was trying to reason with herself exactly why she needed to stay on Audrey’s brains. Again, she tried to blame it on Audrey’s passion. Audrey wasn’t ready to leave this world and she wanted one more chance to make things right with Blaine. Liv felt sick to her stomach at the thought of failing Audrey of her last request.


	10. Two Halves of a Whole

**X.**

_I stayed awake all night trying to convince myself that I was making a bad decision. By lying in the bed next to Blaine’s, it seemed like literally all of me just wanted to be on Audrey’s brains forever. There was still a part of me that knew I was_ me, _but the thought of going back to hating Blaine was a concept I couldn’t comprehend._

_Would I be able to? After seeing the part of him I saw through Audrey’s eyes, would I be able to only look at him like a lying, cheating, murdering psychopath like I did before? He certainly did not look like one while sleeping. And I wondered what would have happened had we kissed last night._

_But he obviously wanted to kiss Audrey, not_ me. _But—it was the Audrey in me that wanted to kiss him, too, not_ me… _right?_

_It was so hard to tell the difference. In some ways, maybe Audrey and I were the same and she was able to bring out a part of me I never found or admitted to before. I had to write that one down…_

_\-----------_

Liv jumped when a loud knock on the hotel door broke the early morning silence. Blaine sat up in bed quickly as well, somehow seeming instantly wide awake…and with a gun in his hand.

“Who the hell is knocking this early?” He asked with a deep morning voice, sleep still present in his throat.

She tried not to think about how she loved hearing that tone. She narrowed her eyes at him and got out of bed, “Were you seriously sleeping with that gun?”

“Can never be too careful.”

She didn’t honor him with a response before unlatching the door and peeking outside.

“Got an expedited delivery for Olivia Moore from Ravi Chakrabarti.” The delivery guy spoke fast as he tried to shove the white cooler through the barely cracked door.

Liv wanted to tell him to chill, that it wasn’t a bomb. She opened the door just enough for the cooler to be shoved in her arms before the guy was gone. Liv closed the door and turned around, and Blaine was only staring at her with a small grin curving his lips.

_“What?”_ She snapped, but knew that Blaine was on to her already.

“You remember that I brought a brain along with us, right?”

“Right.”

“And if memory serves right, you shouldn’t be hungry for a few more days at least.”

“Precautions.”

“Do you feel her brain wearing off?”

“Seriously, what’s with all the questions?”

“I just need to know what—or w _ho—_ I’m working with.”

Liv set the cooler down on the small table in the kitchen area, “Exactly. We don’t know who that person was.” She motioned to the fridge where the anonymous brain was housed.

When he didn’t respond, she tried her hardest to not look up at him. She only stared down at the cooler that Ravi was awesome enough to send. The rest of Audrey’s brain was inside. If she ate it again, her feelings for Blaine would intensify. She placed her hands on the table and closed her eyes, trying to imagine what that would feel like.

_Stop!_

She needed to focus on finding and taking down zombie Ben now. That was why she was on these godforsaken brains.

_‘You love these brains. Audrey is helping you realize—.”_

_Stop!_

“There’s nothing like watching an internal struggle,” Blaine commented before grabbing his phone, eyeing her intensely before unlocking it and scrolling through it. “I see you called your morgue friend on my phone.”

Liv shook her head before slowly opening her eyes to the cooler again, “I told you last night that I lost my phone.”

Blaine didn’t acknowledge her as he pressed a contact and held the phone up to his ear.  He looked over to her and she could feel it, not being able to resist meeting his gaze.

She should have just looked away, but there was a force that kept her in place. His blue eyes seemed to say ‘ _I know you’_ and it made her feel split wide open. She wanted to stay in the hotel with him forever and read and write poetry.

“Hey, you got anything for me?” He asked to whoever was on the other end, but Liv felt like he was talking directly to her, and to hell with whoever he was actually speaking to.

She was promptly thrown into a vision at the mere thought.

_“I can get it to you by tomorrow,” Blaine said into the phone, as Audrey kissed up his neck and to his chin. He maintained his composure without even attempting to push her away._

_Audrey pulled the phone from his ear and tossed it behind her._

_Blaine looked shocked and then upset, “Audrey, what the h—_ oh, _” he stopped when she nipped at his collarbone then up to his throat. “What’s gotten into you?”_

_“Hoping you soon.”_

_“_ Damn,” _he muttered with quiet fascination, looking at her with lustful wonderment. He pulled her body to his forcefully before kissing her heavily._

Liv felt like she was breathing for the first time after being suffocated.

Blaine looked up from his phone, “Oh, you back from the gutter?”

Liv slowly walked around the table, paying meticulous attention to how her index finger ran over the smooth tabletop, and how her bare feet padded over the rough carpet. She noticed how the sun shone in through the sides of the curtains, illuminating Blaine’s eyes in just the right way.

“You can’t touch me the way you do and say you don’t care,” she said in a voice seemingly outside of herself. She stopped in front of him, tilting her head back, remembering how tall he was. She placed a hand on his chest, over his heart, running her fingers up toward his neck, “You can’t look at me the way you do and say it’s over.” Under her gentle touch, she felt him swallow, but otherwise maintain his posture, “You can’t say you love me and then take it back.”

He only looked down at her, his eyes clouded over into a look she couldn’t quite place, “Did you read that in one of her journals?”

She gave a slow single nod, slipping her fingers to the side of his neck, “Beautiful…isn’t it?”

Blaine closed his eyes and breathed in deeply through his nose before regaining his posture and looking at her with a hard stare, “That’s the thing about you writers. You romanticize heartbreak. You _thrive_ on it. I may be a sadist, but at least I’m not a masochist.”

His sudden change made her snatch her hand to herself and take a step back.

“How is one better than the other?”

“It’s not,” He pointed his finger between himself and her, “I’m saying that we’re two halves of a whole, you and I.”

She scoffed. Whatever magic she felt as Audrey with him two seconds ago was gone, “I will never be your other half.”

“It seems writers also love irony,” he stepped toward her, watching as she warily stepped back against the wall. He placed his forearm above her head and leaned down close to her, “Because you already are.”

There was a part of Liv that knew she could easily rip into him and _punish_ him for talking to her like that, and for being this close. But there was another part of her that somehow knew it wasn’t _her_ Blaine was talking to. He got caught up in the moment _she_ started (though she supposed she should blame it on Audrey).

Blaine’s phone chimed. He looked down at the text, smirked, then slowly met her gaze again, “Seems we have a fresh lead on our killer.” A short pause and then, “You feel like kicking some ass?”

She couldn’t help but mimic his smirk, “I promise not to let him get away this time.”

\-----

The first place they stopped at was Club Z to A to find Liv’s cell. The day manager said he had about six lost phones in a box and asked if there was a way for her to prove that one of them was hers.

“On it,” Blaine said before calling Liv’s phone to pinpoint it.

Liv didn’t even have time to consider that she had assigned Adele’s _Hello_ to his contact until the song blared up from the box of phones.

If she wasn’t already dead, she swore she would have died from embarrassment as the manager handed her the phone that belted out _‘to tell you I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done’_ while Blaine stood right beside her with a look of smug satisfaction that made Liv want to knock him out.

“Don’t make me scratch you,” she warned him as they left the club.

“Kinky,” he said, unfazed by her threat.

“I hate you.”

“Look at us!” He yelled proudly as they reached his car. “Hashtag: relationship goals.”

“Don’t hashtag stuff you’re saying out loud, it makes no sense,” she slid into the passenger seat as he got into the driver’s seat, the familiarity of being with him like this making her feel comfortable.

“This is why I need you around, baby. You keep me in check. Hashtag: whipped.”

She turned in her seat and held a finger close to his cheek, “I _will_ do it.”

“I never knew you were such a flirt.”

Liv brought her hand back and sat up straight with her fingers clasped in her lap, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“It’s okay; I won’t tell.”

\--------

They drove about ten miles from the club before reaching a large factory with smoke billowing out of the highest towers. It instantly looked familiar to Liv, and then she was thrown into a vision.

_“Ben, why did you bring me here?” Audrey asked, the pinkish sun setting in the west, just beyond the heavy gray smoke._

_“I want to show you how lucky you are,” he told her in a tone that hinted at vicious teasing._

_She looked from the factory over to Ben who was sitting beside her in the car. But when she saw him, his eyes were glowing red and horrifying veins popped from his face, a large insane grin stretching his skin, “I could sell you off for a good price.”_

_Audrey tried backing up against the locked door as she screamed in complete terror._

“What’d you see?” Blaine asked as soon as she released her first breath.

Liv looked over at him with fear and worry in her eyes, “I think Ben was already a zombie before I scratched him last night…”

Blaine stayed silent for a whole minute before deciding to ask, “Did he…did he turn Audrey into one?”

Liv shook her head, “No, completely impossible. I wouldn’t have been able to eat her brains. Something about the virus makes other zombie brains not at all appetizing.”

He let out a long breath and nodded. Liv thought Blaine should have known that detail, but maybe he just needed to hear her say it. She rubbed his shoulder, squeezing it to bring him back to the task at hand.

“Let’s go kick some ass.”


	11. Let's be scewed up together

**Contagious**

**XI.**

_A large part of me felt upset that I was not the one to turn Ben into a zombie. I wasn’t the one that turned him into the undead and got some sort of revenge for Audrey. I didn’t do anything except knock him down and then let him run off._

_Which then brought me to the question (well…multiple questions actually): Why didn’t he fight back harder at the club? And why did he bring Audrey to this factory that Blaine and I were now walking into? And how did she get away? Her body was found right outside her apartment, which was about two hours away from this place. And why did Ben kill her the way he did if he was a zombie? None of it was adding up._

_I wondered if Blaine would wait to put a bullet in his brain to find any of this out. The more we found out, the more upset Blaine was becoming. And it concerned me that he was going to do something reckless against a dangerous zombie._

_The concern only grew tenfold when we walked out of the bright warm sun and into the cold dark warehouse. A turn was coming…_

_\-----------_

“Blaine, are you sure you want to be in here? You could wait outside and I’ll—.”

“Now’s not the time to start worrying about me,” he cut her off short and quick, not even making eye contact. He already had his gun in his hand.

Liv had to remind herself that he knew how to take care of himself. Still. She had no idea what to expect and she wasn’t sure if she could protect him if big crazy zombie Ben targeted him. She didn’t know if Ben knew what Blaine looked like, but he definitely knew _of_ him from all the poems Audrey wrote.

“It’s quiet in here,” Blaine commented. The place was mostly metal but the only sound echoing in the place was their footsteps.

“Ben brought Audrey here before. There has to be a reason…” Liv thought out loud, squinting through the dark to the upper level.

“Probably to torture her some more,” he answered, his voice tight and his teeth grinding.

She looked over to him. He was on high alert, like he was ready to attack anything that came at him. Before she could remark on this, screams suddenly broke the silence. It was from both men and women, and the terrified pitches that reverberated off the metals made her skin tight.

And against her will, and poor timing, she was thrown into a vision.

_Ben was dragging Audrey by the arm, not even wincing as Audrey screamed and threw punches all over his head and shoulders to try to escape. He wasn’t looking at her, almost like he was in a trance._

_“Stop! Ben, just let me go and I swear I’ll never—.”_

_She cut herself off with a horrified gasp. He pulled her around a corner where she saw at least fifty people locked in a cage, most looking sun deprived and depleted. Yet as soon as they saw Audrey and Ben, half of them stood up and pressed against the cage, convulsing and yelling to be set free._

_“What is this?!” Audrey managed to ask._

_“The friends you’ve been asking for.”_

“Liv!” Liv snapped out of it, feeling Blaine’s strong grip on her arm and shaking her, “I know you can’t really control these visions, but I need you in the game!”

“He’s keeping people hostage here! Live people like…like he’s _harvesting_ them,” she announced with disgust.

“He might be where they are, so let’s follow the sounds of nightmares,” Blaine said, heading toward the sound but keeping his hand on her arm, though not harshly, but more like he wanted to make sure she stayed beside him.

Liv swallowed hard and grabbed at his hand to hold between hers. Half of her was terrified—she felt the panic Audrey was feeling when she was brought here. But the other half of her was raging with fire. She needed to get all those people to freedom; who knows how long they’d been waiting for a savior.

The initial screams subsided, but there was still a lot of groans and weeping that allowed them to pinpoint which way they needed to go. Finally, Liv recognized the hallway from her vision and knew the cage was right on the other side.

“Blaine,” she squeezed his hand to stop him, making him turn toward her, “Ben might be twenty feet away now with tons of innocent people. What’s the plan?”

“I’m going to shoot him in both knees,” he said without skipping a beat, “then when he’s down, I’m going to shoot him up with this,” Blaine showed off the needle he was carrying the night before.

“But what about—.”

“ _You_ worry about them, _I’ll_ worry about B—.”

“We _both_ need to worry about _each other_ if we’re going to get this right!”

Blaine’s lips got thin as he pursed them together, obviously getting annoyed at her for delaying what they needed to do, “If that’s your way of asking if I’m worried about you, then yes—yes, I am, okay? But I trust you to go full-on zombie mode when the time is needed and get us both out of here alive…so to speak.” He added the last part as an afterthought for her being a zombie, but she knew what he met.

Liv felt the moment of action about to occur, and Audrey brain was active, and she felt the words that seemed so right slipping from her lips, “Blaine, I love y—.” She gasped and squeezed her lips. _What am I doing?!_

His eyebrows curved in an understanding sort of sadness. His eyes were softer than they were a moment ago as he placed a hand on top of her head, “I got you. You got me?”

She could only nod as she felt a lump form in her throat. He nodded back and, before she knew it, he was running around the corner. Instantly, the captives saw him and started screaming again, begging to be released. Liv didn’t have time to think as she followed right behind him, her eyes scanning over the malnourished people, a few of them she recognized from her vision. How long have they been in here?

“Where is he? _Where is he?!”_ Blaine tried shouting over them. At first, it seemed like they were too panicked to hear what he was asking, but a few of them understood and pointed further down the hall. He turned to Liv, “I’m going down there.”

She nodded and stared at the lock that was keeping them inside. And all of her rage was coming to the surface. Her rage against what Ben did to Audrey, what he was doing to these people, what he would continue doing if they didn’t put a stop to it…

She sucked in a few ice cold breaths, feeling her eyes turning red as her zombie blood surfaced. Some of the captives saw this and began screaming in terror again.

“She’s one of them!!” The shouts got the rest of the group riled up, and Liv wanted to tell them that she wasn’t like Ben, but she only showed her super strength by pulling the lock clean off of the cell gate. The people backed off to the other end of the cell, scared they would be picked next.

Liv opened the gate and let her eyes go back to normal, calming her rage for the moment, “I need all of you to run and get help!” But they weren’t moving toward her. Not knowing what else to do, she took out her cell phone and slid it across the room to them, “All of you, get out of here and call 911 as soon as you can!”

At that very moment, a couple gunshots echoed off the walls. Liv turned her head in the direction Blaine ran off to, her heart plummeting to her stomach. She ran in his direction, and was thankful she heard all the people clambering the other way to freedom as soon as she was out of the way. She only hoped they didn’t face any other obstacles between here and the exit.

She called his name, but saw him as soon as she did. He was on the ground and his hands were up—without a gun, of course. It took her only a second to see that Ben was running toward him, his eyes a blazing red. And it took her only half a second to get the same look and sprint at him. As soon as Ben jumped to pounce on Blaine, Liv was barreling into him, both of the zombies tumbling off to the side.

They both stood up fairly quickly, Ben seething at the mouth as he stared at her, “ _You_ again.”

“You’re gonna _pay_ for what you’ve done!” Liv yelled in a harsh zombie voice as she pounced again, her legs springing her like an animal upon her prey. Liv hardly had any rational thought left. Zombie took up almost all that she was, and combat was all she knew. Somewhere in the back of her human mind, she heard Blaine yelling at her about something, but between the growling going on between her and Ben, she couldn’t be bothered with it. A gunshot momentarily rattled her eardrums.

Finally, Liv had Ben pinned beneath her and was about to punch him right in the face, when she was then slammed into. Another heavy body was rolling with her and once she got a look at the face, she realized it was another zombie man that must be working with Ben.

The new man grabbed her arm and spun her around a few times before swinging her against a wall. She groaned roughly as her back collided with the metal wall, but she was still able to pick himself up. It was then that she saw there were three zombie men ready to attack.

But just as the third man started running toward her, another gunshot rang out and it stopped the zombie right in his tracks. Liv saw the bullet hole in his forehead quickly become apparent before he fell backwards.

She looked to the side and saw that, sure enough, Blaine had fired the shot.

“One down,” he said, moving his aim just slightly to the second man. He fired, but this zombie was more prepared and was able to dodge it before running toward Blaine at an inhuman speed.

Fearing for Blaine’s life, Liv pushed herself from her spot and sped for him, but not before getting stopped by Ben again. There was more wrestling and gunshots. Liv had no idea how long this brawl was going on. But she had lost sight of Blaine for far too long and she had to do something with the brute on top of her. So in a brief moment of strength she never showed before, she flipped him over and slammed the back of his head against the floor four, five, six times before he finally seemed too dazed to continue.

She looked over her shoulder to see that Blaine had obviously run out of bullets. But just as the second man was about to make his move, the doors down the hall burst open loudly as a bunch of police announced their arrival. The zombie upon Blaine got his normal eyes back as he looked around for Ben. He ran over to the nearly knocked out man, dragging him to his feet and telling him they needed to get out of there.

They were running the opposite way now, and Blaine was limping over to Liv, “We need to go after them!”

Liv looked down at Blaine’s leg, a large tear in his jeans and blood seeping out through a wound, “You can’t run right now, we—.”

“Don’t let them escape!”

“I’m not leaving you!” She argued back, holding her breath when she heard the police getting closer, “And you’re a wanted man, we can’t let the police see you.”

“I don’t care about that right now, we—.”

“Well, I do!” Liv hissed, not wanting to raise her voice now. She placed his arm around her shoulders so she could help him walk. She went to one of the vents and pulled the screen off, telling him to crawl in before she followed him, replacing the screen behind her. She couldn’t afford to get caught here either. She had no good alibi and her bosses at work would surely put her on suspension at the very least.

“We need to just wait until they clear the place out,” she said lowly to him, finally able to catch her breath.

When he didn’t say anything, she looked over at him through the dark vent and saw that his eyes were closed and his head was resting back against the wall, his injured leg out in front of him.

“Are you o—.”

“We were so _fu_ —…we were so close!” He slammed a fist against the wall, the pound echoing, but the police were making too much noise to hear it.

“We’ll get him next time,” she reassured, not only him, but herself. She struggled to take her jacket off in the tight space, but did so in order to wrap it tightly around Blaine’s leg, “It doesn’t look like it’s bleeding too badly, but don’t want to take any chances.”

“Aren’t you going to ask if he scratched me?”

Liv’s eyes widened as she met his gaze, “Did he…?”

Blaine shrugged, “I’m not sure…but if he did, I should heal soon, so that’s something to look forward to.”

Liv didn’t have an argument against that at the moment. She had already talked herself into scratching Blaine had he been too injured to recover as a human. She was prepared to do it. So all things considered, they got out of that brawl better than she expected.

“You saved me,” she said, thinking of when he shot the zombie in the head that was coming at her.

He looked over to her, somewhat confused at first, but then shook his head, “You would have handled him just like you handled the other two. I _helped_ you, but I didn’t save you. Now _you,_ on the other hand, _you_ saved _me.”_

Liv held her breath as a vision came to her.

_“You saved me,” Blaine said to Audrey, “If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be…”_

_“You’re the one that first approached me,” Audrey said with a small laugh, though great appreciation in her voice._

_“You were so beautiful, I couldn’t resist,” Blaine smirked, “You’re even more beautiful when you blush like that.”_

_Audrey saw herself in his teal eyes; so this was the reflection of love…_

Liv breathed again, a fluttering in her chest. He was still looking at her, “Anyway,” he said, “to finish that thought…I wanted to say thank y—.”

Before he could finish, Liv leaned forward and kissed him. It was the lightest of kisses, a feeling of newness and yet nostalgic familiarity. She felt her mind go blank and yet a million poems circled in her brain. _Two people who shared as much as we did should never drift apart—let’s fix this and be screwed up together…_

She didn’t want to stop, but she felt him pulling back slightly. She opened her eyes and caught his gaze. They were the blue she, Liv, knew them to be. But it was too dark to see her reflection in them. She felt herself beginning to panic, and she wasn’t sure if it was the Audrey in her or not.

But before she could, he again placed his hand on top of her head and smiled, finally finishing his thought, “Thank you for saving me.”


	12. Second Dose

**Contagious**

**XII.**

_I don’t know how long we waited in that vent for the place to clear. On one hand, I was grateful that one of the escapees actually called the police so fast. On another hand, I wished we could have gotten out of there before they raided the place. Blaine and I didn’t talk; we were too worried that someone might hear us and we didn’t want to take that chance._

_At least…that’s the reason I gave myself. I was still reeling over the fact that I actually kissed him. And I do not say that sentence lightly. The exclamation marks are going off all around me. I tried to blame it on not only Audrey brain, but adrenaline. We just went through something crazy, still kind of in the thick of it, and it was a kneejerk reaction._

_But besides all that, I was getting really hungry. I wore out a lot of energy fighting those guys and my mind was getting a little fuzzy. I thought about the brain waiting for me back at the hotel and really just wanted to get back there, stuff my face, and figure out our next game plan._

_When the coast was finally clear, I had to shake Blaine from his stupor. I’m sure his leg was throbbing something horrible, and stiff from being in the same position for hours. I helped him out of the vent and out to his car. Why the police did not tow it or have someone watch over it, I wasn’t sure. I told him I would drive, and thankfully he did not put up a fight._

_\---------_

“This really sucks,” Blaine said as he limped into the hotel room with Liv’s help.

“Tell me about it,” she commented, letting him go only when he sat at the edge of his bed, “But at least now we know he’s not working alone.”

“Also,” he hissed as he tried to bend his leg, “I think it was a bad decision to just let all those people go the way you did.”

“What?!” Liv exclaimed, her eyes wide, “Did you expect me to just leave them there?”

He held up his hands in defense, “All I’m saying is…all those people are going to tell others about their experience. And what do their experiences have? _Zombies._ Word’s gonna get out pret-ty quick.”

“Oh, shit,” she sat down dejectedly beside him, “I didn’t even think about that…”

“Eh-heh…and don’t you think at least a few of them are going to give descriptions of _you?”_

She covered her face with her hands, “This is gonna cause a panic… _And_ I lost my phone again!”

“Just another thing to link back to you,” Blaine shook his head and slowly stood up, “I need to wash this wound out. Order some pizza, would you?” He unlocked his phone and tossed it to her, “I’ll pay…since you’re going to be without a job soon.”

She looked at him with dull eyes, but couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. He limped into the bathroom and pushed the door closed, but left it open just a crack. Liv searched for the nearest pizza place and ordered a supreme. She couldn’t wait to heat up Audrey’s brains and toss them on top of the pizza. She almost drooled just thinking about it.

Before she could put down his phone, a text came through. The number wasn’t marked by a name, but it said they were trailing him again…and to turn on the TV.

Liv did as the text said and instantly she saw all the interviews that were filmed.

“I’d been locked up for…I don’t even know, what day is it?”

The interviewer told her the date.

“Oh my god, I’ve been in there for a good four months. They were…zombies! O-or…deranged cannibals…I don’t know. This girl saved us today though…she had the same red eyes as the men, but she…she was different.”

“How so?”

“Well…I mean, she saved us. She was an angel.”

“Aw…” Liv smiled at the compliment, “Hey, Blaine! Did you hear that? I’m an angel!”

He didn’t answer her. She muted the TV and listened for him. But all she heard was the bath water. “Blaine?” She got up and went to the bathroom door, knocking loudly, “Blaine? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine” he finally answered, though his voice sounded strained, “Just…need a few moments to myself.”

She swallowed hard, caught between wanting to offer help and knowing to give him space. She backed away from the door and got Audrey’s brains out of the fridge. She held the white container in her hands, knowing what a new dose could do to her.

Setting down the container on the table, she picked up one of Audrey’s notebooks and flipped through some pages as more interviewees gave their account on the news.

_“Blaine—_

_I’m sorry. You showed me your darkness and I could not accept it. Your light was so easy to love that I thought that’s all you’d ever be. I let you down. I used to think you let me down. But maybe—maybe we let each other down. Maybe we had to fall apart and then find our way back to each other. I wanted to find you. But I feared your rejection. Would you turn me away? Would you look differently and I would still not know how to accept you, despite wanting to? My heart wants you so badly that it burns, but my mind cannot get past what has become of you. What kind of love is this? I never wanted to love someone like this…so much that I don’t feel like myself without you. Where are you, Blaine? Why didn’t you come back and make us whole again?”_

Liv’s eyes teared up. She felt these words…lived them even. She held onto him…his memory…for so long. How did she manage?

She flipped to a few more entries, and she was itching to write as well. She wanted to put into black and white words how that kiss made her feel. She was so conflicted inside—she knew that she should feel repulsed that she did it, Audrey brains or not. But…she couldn’t find a single bit of her that was upset she did it. It was like holding her breath for years and years, and finally being able to release everything.

Liv picked up a pen and began writing.

_“Blaine—_

_I can’t seem to escape you, even in death. In fact, I think it might be even worse. I’m right in front of you, but you don’t see me anymore. I watch your conflict, your pain, your darkness, but I am an emptiness that can’t ease you into comfort. You look past me and don’t want what I can offer. No—you can’t accept it. If you only open your eyes, my heart and mind will be yours. I’m finally ready to be my whole self with you.”_

She jumped when there was a knock on the hotel door, the pizza delivery guy announcing himself. She paid of it and placed the pizza on the table, again knocking on the bathroom door, “Blaine, pizza’s here.”

“Thanks.”

She waited for more, but he said nothing else. She fixed her plate in the meantime, placing some bits of brain in the microwave before putting them meticulously on her slices, so she had at least two bits per piece. Before she could start eating, the bathroom door finally opened and Blaine walked out in only a towel around his waist.

_This is how smut stories begin…_ She heard her mind saying. She shook her head to rid the thought.

“Smells like reheated brain in here. With a side of pizza,” he commented, sitting in a chair opposite her. He stared at her plate. “So…going in for more, I see?”

For the first time since she made the decision to eat more of Audrey’s brains, Liv felt a real panic, “Oh…oh, god, Blaine…I didn’t even ask you if you were okay if I did…?”

“You’re a free woman, I can’t stop you from eating whatever brains you want,” he tried to make it sound like he didn’t care, a wave off, but she couldn’t help but sense something else. But before she could say anything, he continued, “I don’t think you’re going to get anything new on her case, though. We already know all about Ben, and my guys are on his trail now.”

“True…” Liv agreed, staring down at her brain pizza. She swallowed hard before asking, “Would you rather I eat the other brain in the fridge…?”

He sighed and rubbed his temple, “It’s just a little…difficult…knowing that you’re… _her.”_

Hearing it made her heart plummet. She was hoping she had just been misreading his signs. But now that he was opening up to her about it…

“I think I’m beginning to realize why Audrey still loved you after all these years,” Liv started slowly, not sure why she was saying this, “Because to let you go…to unlove you…it feels very formidable and scary. To release these kind of feelings from my mind seems like torture. It’s like my brain is fighting to hold on to you because it’ll be lost otherwise.”

Blaine dropped his hand in his lap and met her gaze, “Those are her words…not yours.”

“Not to counter that argument, but they’re _our_ words. When I eat brains, I take on the talents, the obsessions, the feelings…this is part of me right now and—.”

_“Right now,”_ He echoed, “As soon as you get off her brains, you’ll go back to being Liv and feeling how Liv feels and thinking how Liv thinks. And Liv has Major waiting back at home for her. How do you think he’ll feel if he knows we’re playing house?”

Liv stood up quickly, feeling fury overtake her, “I’m _helping_ you take down Ben by being here!”

“You’re reminding me that I never got over Audrey!” Blaine shot back, standing up as well, but swearing instantly and sitting back down. He had momentarily forgotten about his injured leg.

She shut her mouth instantly at his words. He seemed to regret saying them. He started eating his pizza, telling her to do the same.

When she only stared at him, he said “I took a couple pain meds, it’s the drugs talking.”

“No, it’s not,” she disagreed, “It’s just that…I’m starting to see how Audrey saw you and I can’t—.”

“You’re seeing who I used to be through her. I’m still the same Blaine I’ve been since you and I first met. It was amusing to see you on Audrey’s brain at first, but it’s getting to be…”

“Getting to be…?” She urged him, sitting back down in her seat to seem less intimidating.

He chuckled, shaking his head, “Just like her—to know the answer but still push for me to say it.”

Liv scoffed, “That was _me_ talking; maybe I just want you to open up to me.”

Blaine pointed at her, “See, that’s _definitely_ not you, when have you as Liv ever wanted me to open up to you?”

“I didn’t know any better before.”

He stared at her with a blank face for a few seconds before a smirk curved his lips (and she felt the flip in her tummy), “Why are you even arguing with me on this? I’m telling you that you should stop eating Audrey’s brains so you won’t have to stay in love with me, and yet you’re going against all of that.”

She had the same thoughts in her head and she hated that he decided to say it out loud. To show that she was done arguing, and to ignore the sane part of her mind, she took two large bites out of her brain pizza.

“Fine,” he said pointedly, “if you’re looking to switch subjects…I have a request.”

“Go for it,” she said with a mouth full of pizza.

“I want you to turn me back into a zombie.”

Liv nearly choked on her pizza, her hand going over her mouth to catch any food that may come flying out. She managed a muffled, “ _What?_ ”

“I’ll be more useful when we’re fighting them. And if we ran into two other guys with Ben today, who knows how many other guys he’s working with.”

She finally swallowed her pizza, “Yeah, but don’t you think we got through the worst already at the warehouse? That seemed like their base. Now it’s just two of them running around who knows where. And I held my own against them, do you really think it’s necessary to take such a drastic action?”

“I thought about it the whole time we were in that vent. We could have gone after them if I didn’t get hurt, and this would all be over by now.”

Liv looked down at their food, “I don’t know…”

“It’s not your decision to make. You can turn me, or I’ll turn another way,” his tone sounded like a stubborn child’s and it made her want to slap him, “I just figured it would be easiest for you to do it since you’re here.”

She bit her lip and picked at her pizza, “Maybe…maybe you should sleep on it first.”

“If I was a zombie, I wouldn’t need to sleep.”

She started eating her pizza again, the zombie in her really needing to eat. She felt the zangry (zombie angry) coming on.

He watched her momentarily, “And if you were just Liv, you wouldn’t have to question your feelings.”

“Don’t lecture me.”

“Just returning the favor.”

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Blaine smirked at her over his pizza, causing her to raise her shoulders in question.

“You really were a badass today,” he complimented, the usual mischievous gleam in his eyes returning.

Liv dusted the crumbs on her hands over her plate, “Which reminds me: we agreed that whoever was saved by the other first was the sidekick,” she mimicked his smirk and nodded slowly, “Pretty sure I’m the one that saved your ass first.”

“Perhaps…but you’re forgetting…” he leaned forward, causing her to do the same, “I _killed_ for you.”

Liv sat back quickly, feeling a strange mixture of resentment over Blaine feeling proud of that, and of flattery. She felt the familiar _zing_ as a vision hit her, her lungs sucking in all the air around her.

_“Why are you even dating my son?”_

_Audrey shook her head, blinking multiple times, seemingly in confusion, “I don’t know what you—.”_

_“He’s_ garbage. _A worthless piece of shit that’s going nowhere in life. You stay with him, he’ll be skidding you along the pavement with him,” there was a disgust in his eyes that should never belong when a parent is talking about their child._

_“You’re wrong! Blaine is smart and just because he doesn’t want to be like you…”_

_“You’ll be sorry.”_

Liv released her breath, a heavy ache in her heart causing her to clutch at her chest.

“See anything useful?” Blaine asked, eating his pizza as though everything was normal.

She didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want to tell him what she just witnessed between Audrey and his father—she knew the bare minimum when it came to how _close_ Blaine and his father were, and she didn’t want to ruin his mood again.

Her desire to hold him and never let go caused her to get up from her seat suddenly and rush to the bathroom, closing the door and clicking the lock. She stared into her own concerned eyes in the mirror, and she hardly recognized herself. She gripped the sides of the sink when she felt another vision hitting her already.

_Audrey was staring at herself in a bathroom mirror, questioning, tilting her head from side to side as if just now seeing the world through her own colorblind eyes._

_“This is real.”_

_Blaine walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. His teal eyes shone more brightly than anything around them. He kissed his way up her neck until his lips reached her ear._

_“I love you.”_

Liv exhaled sharply, goose bumps appearing all over her skin. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, never having experienced a vision quite like that before; where she was looking into the eyes of the person she was impersonating—where that person seemed to feel like someone else and was trying to convince themselves that they were not…well, possessed, for lack of better word.

And Liv felt like Audrey wasn’t just in her head; she was in her heart and body, and Blaine was right outside the door, and all the love she felt for him was raging inside her. She felt that if she didn’t release this feeling, it would start to bubble into a bitter darkness that would consume her heart. Being so close to the one she was in love with and not doing anything about it was driving her toward insanity.

She quickly opened the door. Blaine was standing at the edge of his bed gazing down at the wrapped wound on his leg, still in that damn towel. He looked up when she walked three long strides towards him; she placed both hands on his face, their eyes only searching curiously for one second before she pulled him down to her and kissed him.

It was completely different than the kiss from earlier. This one was strong and desperate, and even when his fingers wrapped around her wrists to push her back slightly, she felt his desire radiating from him.

“Liv…”

She shook her head to stop him, “I want to make up for all the time we lost.” She kissed him again and pressed against him just enough to sit him on the bed, where she then straddled his lap, “I want to show you what you mean to me.” She pushed him onto his back and slipped her shirt over her head.

He tried to say her name again, but it was swallowed in her mouth. The taste of him filled her senses and for the first time in so, so long, she felt a sense of relief. His hands were on her shoulders as he pushed her away again. Liv opened her love-fogged eyes, and swore she saw the teal in his own light up the room.

Before he could say anything, she ran her knuckles down the side of his face, and her heart felt like it would absolutely burst when he leaned in to her.

“It’s me,” she said simply.

They stared at each other for who knew how long, and she wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but he was kissing her before she could, and she welcomed the taste of his tongue against hers and the feel of his fingers on her bare back.

Before she knew it, her jeans were sliding off her legs and his fingertips were digging into thighs, then slipping to her backside to push her closer to him. They moaned in unison when she grinded against him. She became short of breath when he gazed at her bare chest, and felt full of breath and life when he slid inside of her body, the electricity crackling between their eyes, a force that kept contact the whole time, and she was sure she never felt such a complete connection to anyone else in her whole life.

Her heart glided when she watched the release on his face, and her brain was a mixture of bursts of flashbacks just like this and what she was currently experiencing, and the rush flew down to her chest and abdomen until she felt that pulsing sensation that she had been craving.

And then they were breathing heavily on their backs beside one another. Liv closed her eyes, the burning in the retinas causing a drowsy-high sensation—she was sure she didn’t blink once the whole time.

She never wanted to come down from this feeling.

“Hey, Liv? I just wanted to say…”

She smiled.

“Thanks for turning me into a zombie.”

Her eyes snapped open. _F---._ She had been so caught up in the memories and feelings and moments that she had _completely_ forgotten about…well, everything that she should definitely have _not_ forgotten about.

She looked over to him with wide eyes, but he still looked very satisfied with that smirk of his.

“Guess we both got what we wanted.”


End file.
